The Story After the End

Seeing Red

As I walk into the school the following Monday, something is off. The mood is different and it feels like everyone is looking at me.

I pass a group of girls who look at me then start whispering to each other. I try not to think about what they are talking about as I walk by. 

Out of nowhere, Melissa comes up to me and says, "I'm so sorry, Lexis, I didn't know."

I'm confused but I smile at her and keep walking down the hallway. 

Next, Micah comes up and just hugs me with tears in his eyes, but he walks away before I can ask any questions. 

When I finally make it to Mrs. Peterson's first period class, everyone was looking at me with something in their expressions, "is that pity and remorse," I question in my head.

I sit down next to Peter and break, "Okay, what the hell is going on?"

Before Peter even has a chance to answer, Rachel says, "Alexis, I'm sorry about your medical condition and the whole cutting thing, is that why you disappeared last year?"

I don't answer her. I get up and run out of the classroom. My head feels like it's spinning. I somehow manage to get to the girls' bathroom and lock a stall door before I let the tears fall. 

Suddenly I can feel it. The urge, the urge to hurt myself. I haven't felt like this in a long time. The feeling overcomes me and suddenly I'm ripping open my backpack for my pair of scissors. I place the blade against my skin. The metal is cold as it slices open my skin. Blood starts breaching its way out. I repeat it over and ever again until all I can see is red. Suddenly, however, the red starts to fade to black, and I can feel my body starting to collapse. 

The last thing I heard was someone screaming out my name. 

...

I woke up in a hospital. I don't even have to open my eyes to know. I've spent enough time in hospitals to know when I am in one. 

When I open my eyes, I can see my mom, Peter, and Becca all in my room. Peter sitting at the window, staring out it. My mom and Becca are whispering while holding themselves for comfort.

"Mom," I try to say but my voice is hoarse. 

"Oh my baby," my mom exclaims as she runs over to me and gives me a hug.

Becca and Peter are crying and coming towards the bed. 

"I'm sor-," I start to say but Peter cuts me off with a kiss and a nice, warm hug. 

Suddenly Becca yells, "You promised!" you could hear the hurt and slight anger in her voice.

"I...I...I," is all I manage to say.

"Becca, sweetie, I'm sure Alexis didn't mean to upset you," my mom said while going over to comfort Becca instead.

"What happened?" Peter asked.

"Everyone knew...everyone knew about me," I say softly.

"Oh, Lexis," my mom says, "how'd they find out?"

"I don't know," I answer.

"Becca, Peter, do guys have any idea how it got around school?" my mom asks them.

Becca shakes her head no but Peter just looks to the ground.

"Peter?" I question him again.

"Well...um...the thing is I kinda told Micah and uh I guess he told Melissa who told some of her friends who told some friend and so on," Peter mumbles.

"What?" I ask in shock and in pain.

"I'm so so sorry, Lexis, I didn't mean for this to happen," he pleads to me.

I pull my hand away from him and simply ask him to leave for right now.

He nods in understanding and he gets up to leave. He stops turns around and tells me he loves me.

"I love you too," I say with an sympathetic smile as he walks out the door. 

...

After three days and a psych evaluation later, I've been cleared to go home. 

When my mom pulls us into the driveway I notice something in the window.

"There better not be a party in there," I say.

She just smiles at me guiltily and says that it wasn't her idea.

As I step into the house, I get pulled into a tight hug by Micah. He starts crying and holding me tighter. 

"Mikes, I saw you yesterday," I say.

"I know," he sniffles, "but that was different."

I hug him one last time and thank him for the party because no one else would throw this kind of party. 

I go over to Becca and Melissa next. 

"Hey, girlies," I say trying to stay upbeat but kinda failing.

They reply with a sad hi and hey, but I pull them into a hug no matter what.

When I release them, I see Peter standing awkwardly in the corner. This is the first time I've ever seen him not at home in this house.

I walk over to him on a mission. Before he can say anything I pull him into a deep kiss. 

"Hi," I simply say.

"Well that's some hello," Peter jokes. 

We both laugh and for the first time I feel like I have a whole family of people to love me.

...

"Lexis, I let you convince me that you didn't need to see Carrie anymore after the mandated therapy was over, but I want you to go back to her," my mom tells me over dinner the next day.

"Okay," I say, knowing there is no point in arguing.

"Good, first appointment tomorrow after school," she replies.

I scoff knowing she had already set it up before asking me.