FIFTH HALF ― luke hemmings ✓

#33

"Lacey, talk to me. What happened?" I refuse to open my mouth after leaving the event. Andy had gone his way to buy me smoothies and burritos but none of that made me feel anything. I was so—so caught up. My head going back years and years ago to what Cassie said. To when I was so busy to be with the boys in the middle of their album, or when I never had the chance to stay over or even had the time to talk when I was rushing all my projects together. How did I get so blind? How did I not notice Luke wanting to have my attention that very same time I had so much to do? I'm sure he would understand, it's Luke. But then again, we have demons we couldn't conquer alone.

That's where my best friend came in the picture. I could be selfish and get mad but it goes against all my beliefs to do so. Luke needed a shoulder to cry on and I wasn't there when all I do was love him behind closed doors. Maybe I didn't love him enough? Maybe I'm really not the right girl for him? Was that it? Was that where all of this has been leading to? Finding out I wasn't supposed to be with the one I love even if we had the same feelings for each other?

Maybe. Who knows now?

"I'm just not feeling well, Andy. Let's go." I left the car with the food he bought and pushed myself to eat it even if my stomach didn't want it. I feel so bad for silently treating Andy after that but it wasn't in me to say something. To speak. Because I wouldn't know what to say if I do.

Andy tapped my shoulders after boarding the elevator and I only mustered a small smile. We reached the floor where the boys were and saw them still having the interview inside another glass room. Andy had to do a bit of recording so I volunteered to stay outside and watch from the tv screen mounted beside the room with the live feed. They seem to be doing Q&A's from the fans who called and I was just in time to hear my name yet again, "Is CalCey still a thing?" The boys didn't seem to know I was already here and heard Calum answer the question while chuckling.

"From the words of Lacey Davis, the ship would never even leave the dock. We're best friends and we both know that." The interviewer awed in reply as well as the fan, and that made me cheer up a little. Calum really has ways of making me less sad.

The interview ended quick several minutes after that and I took it as a cue to pull my shit together and act as if I just didn't hear the truth an hour ago. It was hard for me to pretend but I guess I got used to that for two years I somehow managed to keep a straight face when Mikey saw me. "I've missed you!" He ran and gave me a hug, somehow easing the feelings I have inside me.

"Fans kept asking questions about you, though. I expect it was more about the single." Ashton made a face which Calum quickly retorted into.

"Man, this is a media network that focuses on showbiz news. We knew it's gonna happen." He semi-whispered on to our crowd while my eyes accidentally wavered over the blonde who's phone rang. He looked at it for a long second before ending it and turning to—me. "Let's go! I'm so excited to go home!"

"By home, we meant Lacey's apartment!" Mikey and Ash followed right after which left me alone with Luke. The last person I expect to be with right now.

"You okay?" Luke asking that only meant I looked not okay. He could see right through me and I've always hated it.

"I will be." It was no use in lying so I told him that and turned away. I mean, it's not a lie. I will be okay. Maybe not now, not tomorrow, but someday. I would be okay over the thought of only ever loving him the same way I did before for the fear that we were really not meant to be.

We left the studio right after and they decided we hangout at Ashton's house instead to my relief. He has a two story house with a porch, a balcony he says that's by the end of the hallway on the second floor, and a swimming pool at the backyard. It was a wonder to me how they wanted to fit themselves at my cheap apartment when they have all of this to entertain them. Still a damn wonder.