FIFTH HALF ― luke hemmings ✓

#43

"Tell me what's up or I swear I'm gonna eat your burrito."

I didn't show up at morning when they all went to have breakfast at the diner we've been talking about for days, didn't show up at their soundchecks, wardrobe, and briefing. I didn't tell anyone where I'd be aside from leaving one note that I'll be out for the day, has no plans of going to their concert just so I could have the day alone, and now, I'm sitting in front of Crystal whose ass I had to drag out of visiting his boyfriend just so I could have someone with me who knew what I'm going through.

"I'm so pissed." It was an understatement. Last night—it filled me with all kinds of things I thought I had already forgotten... like so much anger towards her even though I've already heard her side of the story. Even though half of my heart had already forgiven the heck out of her. "She keeps on showing up."

"Are you sure it's really Cassie?" Crystal asks which I nodded with while looking down on my already cold coffee. We've been here for hours and the concert hadn't still started–that only meant I couldn't get to the bus to hide without any of them lurking around. "Maybe they're just talking about being friends, you know?"

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Let's just look at it like this." She started, "The only ever person Luke loved is you all throughout the years, and with that when he met Cassie, he became the second one. At least if he did love her, then she is. And technically, instantly became his first girlfriend. And we all know how that works in the mysterious mind of men. They never really forget about their first girlfriends." I admire the positivity in Crystal but just that exact thought dreaded me a lot. "Maybe some, not everyone, or maybe Luke would've wanted that because he's such a nice person, but if Michael had that, I wouldn't complain though."

"Why?"

"He loved her once, and we never really forget about the feelings that came with it. We learn to live without that feeling. I could be okay with them being friends but not–not so much." She grinned which made me roll my eyes. "Think of it as seeing Luke forget about her slowly. He once loved her, we couldn't take that away. But if he continued to do so? Drop him, sis." She clicked her hands downwards while I stare dumbfoundedly at what she just did.

"Very helpful with the internet slangs, Crys." I took a bite out of the burrito and angrily munch it while thinking about the view last night. I couldn't take it out of my head no matter what I do and it's making me so grumpy. Luke has no idea what he's doing to me.

"Cal's calling you, again, for the fourth time. They're probably really worried about you." I let Crystal keep my phone just because I couldn't help it if it's with me, but her constant updates just makes me want to snatch it out of her hands and call them back. But what would that make me look like again?

"How come Mike's not calling you a hundred times?" I say, crossing my arms on my seat after finishing the only food I ordered.

"He knows." My eyes widen, "He knows, okay? But he's not telling. He loves you too much to sell you out." I pouted and laid my head on the table, thinking just what I'm supposed to do about all of this. "Let's just go back, Lace. Confront it head-on."

"I hate how you always make it seem easy." I murmured and heard her chuckle.

"Sis, I've been with Mike for four years. If that doesn't make me an expert then I don't know what." I looked up and saw her smile at me encouragingly. "Let's go?" And before I could even say no, Crystal dragged me out of the seat and giddily pulled me to her car to go back to the hall and finally ask Luke what the fuck he's up to.

Upon driving back, it's good that Crystal's car was heavily tinted as we had to go through the highway where the fans lined up are already entering for the concert that'll start in thirty minutes. She drove up to the back of the building and when security confirmed our pass, he let us through and we walk towards the back, up to the wardrobe where they would be. But my feet were proven to be unreliable when I'm nervous, that's already a fact.

"Have the courage to do what you have to, okay?" It looked like she already knew I was being a coward again and went on her way while I was left at the back to wonder what I'm going to do.

It was either wait for the concert to end and not see my boys for the final concert at our hometown or be at with... Andy. That's the second best option and I instantly went with it, finding Andy film videos for the content from the barricade of the stage. "Hey." I greeted, Andy, turning with a camera at hand.

"Cinderella finally showed up." He grinned, "What's up with Lacey Davis?" Is it a wrong choice to be here and be the content for the diary instead?

"What's up is I'm still starving and couldn't wait for my boys to show up at the damn stage." I made a groaning noise and when Andy laid the camera back down, he pursed his lips. "What's up is I don't know what to do with Luke and figured I could be here instead of back there." He immediately enveloped me with a hug that felt sooo comforting.

"You'll find out all the right things soon, babe." When the doors finally opened, the full view of the lobby filled with hundreds began pouring inside the hall, the fans running to get to the front and upon seeing us, already squealed which hurt my ears and yet be so grateful to have people love me like this. Even if they only know bits about me.

We talked with the rest of the fans while waiting for the show to start, purposely forgetting about what I'm supposed to do and focusing directly at the fans who, every chance they get, ask if Luke and I are secretly dating. "I'm currently dating Fred Weasley, sorry, luvs. Luke isn't on the list right now." The rest of them settled with laughter but some were persistent than others, leaving right then and turning to Andy who's setting up the camera upfront.

"Hey–" I wasn't able to continue when the lights suddenly closed and all flashing lights opened, leaning on Andy's seat beside the other guards and deciding to watch instead of run away since I knew that they couldn't reach me here even if they wanted to. Even Luke.

"That's not the set." The crowd started asking me questions when the concert didn't open with the set list and I was out of words to say. Not because I didn't know why, but because the intro the song was so familiar it's striking me the hell back.

"I'm gonna love this." Andy murmured beside me, standing at the side with wide eyes as soon as Luke came out from the stage by himself with a guitar around his shoulders,  standing in the middle while he hovered on the microphone. He stood there, roamed his eyes around and found mine, his lips thinning into a small smile before he spoke, "Hello, Sydney! Thank you for coming today. I just wanted to start our last performance in our hometown with a classic. One of our songs from 2014 that I'd like to dedicate to a very special someone." My knees weakened as soon as Andy nudged me. "This is everything I didn't say." My breath hitched.

Another intro began and the rest of the boys came out all at the same time, Ashton banging on the drums that made everything, from bass to guitar, sound whole. "Wait, don't tell me, Heaven is a place on earth. I wish I could rewind all the times that I didn't show you what you're really worth." Calum grinned along the lyrics, making me feel so nervous I could run and cower away. "I was wrong I admit, numb from your kiss while you were slipping through my fingertips." It just had to be this song.

"Taking every breath away, with all of the mistakes I've made. From all the letters that I've saved. This is everything I didn't say." I have no words. The way Luke was looking at me that way. The way the rest of the crowd raises their brightly lit phones above the air even if it's only the first song, the way everything felt so surreal, it's slowly forming a tear in my eyes. "I wish I could've made you stay. And I'm the only one to blame. I know that it's a little too late. This is everything I didn't say." My heart warmed every minute I didn't know what else to do than stand there and have all my tears pour all the while Luke smiles at me like that. Bringing out all the fucking butterflies in my stomach with not one left.

He roamed around like a good frontman, strumming his guitar along the verse and when he looked down, slouched in front of me right at the edge of the stage, he smiled, one that took all the air out of my lungs. "I love you so bad, Lace. This is everything I didn't say."