Social Suicide (BxB) / On Hold

Chapter 28

With a smile that did not reach his eyes, Alex posed for a group picture. Groups of sweaty teens surrounded him, and Alex shuddered into his jacket. Dances - specifically school dances - were simply not his thing. 

He could have stayed home, and maybe he should have. Alex could imagine it now; curled up in his bed with a mug of warm tea. Maybe he could've taken out a book if he had felt inspired to read. But no - here he was, sweaty, hot and frustrated, in the middle of the school hall, dancing. 

The song playing from the DJ booth was high and uplifting, blaring through the speakers with an unavoidable intensity. The majority of students were here with their dates, and, for the most part, were paired off in small, intimate groups. Alex could feel Thalia's presence next to him like a deadly snake and felt somewhat guilty for the way he was treating her. He knew that they should be more like the other couples, but something was holding him back - or someone. Ashton. He couldn't get the guy out of his head, no matter how hard he tried. It didn't help that he hadn't seen anything of him the whole day. Was Ashton even at the dance? He wondered whether the other would care that he'd come with Thalia. Alex had no idea and didn't really want to find out either. 

Alex slipped his arm around Thalia, pulling her away from the group and into a more private area. Having gone together as partners, Alex knew that this was the right thing to do, although he would've prefered to stay by himself in the corner.

"D'you, uh, want to dance?" he asked her reluctantly, moving in close so that he could be heard over the roar of the music. Thalia nodded thankfully, and Alex was aware for the first time how different she looked. Her dress, long and elegant, highlighted her figure perfectly and seemed to hug her body in all the right places. Alex knew how much any other guy in the room would love to be in his position right now, and again, guilt overpowered him.  He moved closer - a feeble attempt to appear more engaged - as the music grew louder. Thalia smiled, her eyes drunk on fire as she danced her inhibitions away. Alex smiled despite the uneasy feeling in his stomach - Thalia always had been good on the dance floor, but this was something else.

A sudden movement to his right drew Alex's attention as the song shifted into a slow, romantic piece. He saw a flicker of easily recognizable hair cross past the two in the distance -  it was Ashton with some girl in a tight red dress. Alex swallowed thickly, wondering whether Ashton had seen him yet. His eyes narrowed and he gazed closer, horrified to see that Ashton was now moving slowly against the girl, pulling her in tight during the slow song. As they swayed gently to the music, Alex couldn't help but notice how perfect the two looked. They simply were a couple, and Alex felt a tinge of jealously tug at his heart. He and Ashton would never be like that - this was exactly what Blake had warned him about.

The girls' fingers clicked to the rhythm as her hands gracefully moved through the air, in perfect time with her feet, which traced a curve on the floor. Ashton matched her movements perfectly, his arms outstretched and their eyes locked. Looking on, it seemed to Alex that the two were aware of no one else in the room. No one but them. 

They continued to dance and spin. The lights were twinkling with every step as the girl in the red dress spun in delicate circles, her dark hair billowing out behind her. Ashton was looking at the girl with a fondness Alex had never seen before, and it scared him. What was going on over there? Alex, prompted by a tap on his shoulder, brought his attention back to Thalia, who was looking at him with a strange expression in her piercing eyes. The slow music twired like a thread around him as Thalia leaned closer, rested her head on Alex's chest. Alex blew out a stream of cold air. He needed space. He needed to get out. 

"Hey Alex," Thalia muttered softly, "can I get something off my chest."

"What?" Alex asked, fear and dread building up as she leaned closer. He flinched, wanting to move backwards and away from her grip. His eyes landed on Ashton who was holding the mysterious girl and, despite being merely 10 metres between the two, he felt years away. Bitterness rose in his throat like bile. If Ashton could slow dance with girls right in front of him, why couldn't Alex also?

"Well, I know how this sounds..." she began, her voice shaking with nerves, "but I sort of have a crush on you. For like, forever."

The slow music twirled like thread around the two as Alex struggled to come to terms with her words. This was bad. The floor provided little stability as Alex spiralled, and all he could see was Ashton slow dancing with the strange girl in the corner of the room. Suddenly everything became too much. He was mad, and not just at himself, but at Ashton too. This was all his fault, Alex thought. If Ashton hadn't come into his life, he could've had a normal dating life. His mum wouldn't hate him. His friends wouldn't distance themselves from him. Blake and his group would leave Alex alone. It was all Ashton's fault. Alex took a deep, steadying breath and clenched his fists, which were shaking by this point.

"Thalia," he cleared his throat, thinking of what Blake had said the previous day. Maybe it was true, maybe Ashton really was using him. He took another breath, preparing himself for what he was about to do. "I... I like you too." 

Thalia blinked, eyes wide and uncomprehending. Alex thought he saw Ashton look his way, but couldn't be sure as the next thing he knew, Thalia had slammed her lips to his and nearly knocked all wind from his lungs. Alex hardly had a moment to react before he pressed his tongue to the seam of her lips as an automatic response, a million thought rushing through his head. 

He couldn't go back.

As he pulled away, Alex could hear nothing but the white rush of blood in his head, see nothing but his hollow, unfaithful lips on Thalia's. He turned, unsurprised to see that Ashton was, in fact, looking in his direction. Straight at Alex, in fact.

Alex watched as the whites in Ashton's eyes turned a pure black, and as his iris glowered teal. His lethal stare felt painful and piercing, as if his glare was tearing Alex's heart apart with a blinding teal light. His eyes were narrowed, rigid, cold, hard; and in that moment, Alex knew he was already far away. 

What he'd done was unforgivable. 

A/N:

Thanks for waiting so long... again! And for anyone reading, thank you for sticking with the story <3 <3 <3

So, what does everyone think? Unexpected, or totally saw that coming? Also, I changed the book cover, so feedback for that would be appreciated too! <3