Social Suicide (BxB) / On Hold

Chapter 29

Ashton couldn't help but wish, as he mindlessly kicked the carpet on his bedroom floor, that the Earth would simply swallow him whole. All he wanted was for this day to end, and the quicker it came, the easier it would be to forget the kiss that was replaying through his mind. To forget him. Alex. Over the course of the night, Ashton's emotions had come in waves that never seemed to end. At first, he had been furious - at Alex and himself for getting too attached. Stupid. That's what he was. Stupid for getting attached, and even more stupid for getting hurt. After that came denial. Maybe Alex hadn't kissed that girl on the dance floor. Maybe it was all some huge misunderstanding or an elaborate prank that would end with cheers and laughs of amusement. But no, even Ashton knew that hope was futile. The scene of Alex and Thalia kissing kept repeating in his mind, as if perpetually stuck on a loop, and Ashton couldn't deny what he so keenly remembered.

That Thalia girl. Had Alex always had feelings about her? He remembered when they first met and how Alex and Thalia had seemed almost inseparable. They shared a bond, there was no doubting that. Had Alex been lying to him the whole time they were together? Every look and touch, every glance - were all of Alex's affections lies? 

Then came the sadness; the regret. That was the worst of them all, he'd decided. It was sadness that had caused Ashton to leave the dance early before locking himself in his room. How long had he been there, sitting mindlessly on his bed? It could have been hours, or perhaps days. Maybe it was only minutes. At any rate, the last thing Ashton wanted to do was to get up and face reality. So he waited and waited for the sadness to wane. But it never did.

He tried to think about where it all went wrong. Merely days ago, he and Alex were doing well. They'd finally make their relationship official, at least in private, and were beginning to become truly comfortable around each other. When had things changed, and why? Ashton couldn't help but blame Thalia - the Alex he knew would never cheat. Never.

Ashton glanced up as someone, probably his mum, knocked softly on his bedroom door. Sighing, he got up, eyeing his reflection as he traveled wearily to the door. In the half-light, Ashton's appearance was shadowed, reflecting the dulled emotions that were almost overwhelming him. His formerly squared shoulders were hunched painfully forward, as it dragged down by an invisible force, and tinges of red lined his eyes. He looked away, almost sickened by his empty reflection. Who was Alex to do this to him? The old Ashton would never be defeated, especially not by some school-boy crush. Nothing like this used to get to him, and he vowed that it would never happen again.

Despite stealing his expression before opening the door, Ashton knew that he looked awful. There was no getting around the mess that was his appearance, and his room looked like a tornado had ripped through it. His black tuxedo lay across the floor in a mounded heap and he kicked it out of sight. It was just another reminder of Alex's betrayal. After opening the door, Ashton tried his best to avoid his mother's worried gaze, and accepted the drink that she shoved in his direction. He could see her mouth moving, but was unable to hear the words. Like everything else in his life, his hearing was fuzzy and blurred. And it was all Alex's fault. It was Alex who betrayed him; Alex who had turned his life into shambles.

That was it, Ashton decided. If it was alright for Alex to play with his feelings, then surely he could do the same. He'd have to fight fire with fire. 

*   *   *

At school the next day, Ashton breezed across the schoolgrounds with a sense of aggression that he hadn't used for months. He could almost feel the fear radiate off some of the freshman as they crossed paths, and he reveled in the sense of power it gave him. It was almost as if he were the same person that had waltzed into school at the beginning of the year. Almost.

Despite the bell ringing to announce the beginning of first period, Ashton kept walking past his locker and through the hall, not for a moment planning to go to class. He knew that Alex would be going to Chemistry this moment, and the last thing he wanted to do was sit next to him in that tiny, cramped and confined classroom. As he walked, Ashton rifled through his back, mentally checking off the items it contained. Roses - check. Chocolates - check. They were both items which, in theory, he would give to his partner, but Ashton didn't intend to give them to Alex. He had other ideas in mind.

The hallway soon became a blur of students, each one rushing to class with books in their hands, eyes slightly glazed with boredom and tiredness. The Monday morning was really taking its toll on most of the students, however, Ashton had never been more energized. He eyed each student carefully, his gaze intently scanning the faces before settling on exactly who he was looking for. Brittany Woods. 

Now, Brittany Woods was a strange character, that was for sure. Despite her distinct lack of intelligence or any notable talent, the girl was in every team and club that their school had to offer. Right now, she was standing amongst the cheerleading squad, giggling with her teammates about some inane nonsense. Ashton almost gagged at what she was wearing - a skin-tight spandex crop top with a miniskirt that left little to the imagination. She was the definition of easy, which was exactly what Ashton was looking for.

It was common knowledge in the school that many girls were obsessed with Ashton. Due to his mysterious persona paired with his undeniable good looks, it was pretty much established that he could have any girl in the school. And Brittany Woods was no exception. All throughout her years, the girl had pined over Ashton, both behind his back and to his face, so Ashton was sure that she'd have no trouble completing his revenge. With that in mind, he approached Brittany with an armful of roses behind his back, willing himself not to gag at what he was about to do.

Nerves tingling with anticipation and a hint of self-loathing and regret, Ashton tapped Brittany on her back. She turned, fixing him with a wide, somewhat deranged smile. Ashton returned it, albeit reluctantly, and tried to avoid how quiet the corridor had gotten. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see someone filming the two while whispering in hushed voices. Perfect. It was if every student was fixated on Ashton, or, more specifically, the bouquet of flowers he held in his hand. Before he could think about it further or change his mind, Ashton forced the words out of his mouth. The words he hoped would hurt Alex as much as Alex had hurt him.

"Will you go out with me?"