･• BROKEN •･

5. Broken

- There's a tumor in your heart.
- w-what?!
- The tumor has started destroying your heart tissues, it will continue doing this until making the heart stop beating.
Jin was silent...
- It's a progressive disease. First, the symptom is just shortness of breath. Then feeling a pain in the chest. The pain can get worse too. After that, you're gonna feel your fingers and toes are getting numb. At this time, the risk of stroke increases. I recommend you to Hospitalize. They will take care of you and prevent the disease to progress.
- and... treatments?...
Doctor moved his head as a negative meaning and said: There is no certain cure for this type of disease. Many ways are suggested but none of them are the definite one. Till now, we have tried chemotherapy, but it hurts the patient more than disease. if we think about the surgery... it may be effective; We can remove the tumor. For now, we can just prevent the progressing by medicines. When your condotion bacomes stable, we start the main treatments.

A tear fell down from Jin's eye...
Chemo? Wasn't it for cancers? Then why...
He looked at the doctor and said: Is it... some kind of... cancer?

- No need to worry, it's not a cancer. A cancer tumor is the one that can reach another parts of body. But this one is just in the tissue of heart, but can progress in the heart. It's a half-benign tumor which can be treated by surgery or chemo both. If the tumor was bigger than normal, I wouldn't suggest surgery, but it's small.

- h-how about the surgery?

- Though it's a way of treatment, but it has it's own risks, too. I'm so sorry to say this, but there's only 30 percent chance to live by surgery. This is really risky. I suggest you tell your family and loved ones as soon as possible. To be honest, this disease is dangerous. If you don't notice and keep doing hard works... it may kill you.

Tears were falling down from Jin's eyes. He wasn't able to control it, he just wanted to cry. Doctor said: Mr. Kim, I know how hard it is to believe and accept, but don't give up on this. I prescribe you some medicines. After taking them all, you'll be ready for the surgery. I'll see you again after one month.

Jin got out of the office. He was feeling empty... a singer that wanted to do many things, now is a patient that's waiting for the fate to know what it wants to do with him... he felt a bad headache started to show itself. He was nervous, angry, sad, depressed... everything was blending in his head. Even his steps weren't right. He was walking like a drunk person... his tears were making his sight blurry...

It didn't take long that he got home... he cleaned his tears and waited a bit befor entering to get rid of his bloody eyes. When his eyes became normal, he entered the house. Jhope saw him and said happily: welcome back! We haven't eaten ye__
He looked at Jin worriedly and said: Jin, are you alright?
Jin didn't say anything. He even didn't hear Jhope. He just wanted to ran to his room before his tears fall down. When he went toward his room, Namjoon saw him and said: What happened, Jin? You look blue. So pale and__
- I'm ok.
He said it without any expression and went to his room. The room was shared with Namjoon. He was afraid if he comes and asks him about his day again, so he pretended to be asleep. They called him for dinner too, but he didn't go and tried to sleep. But his mind was full of thoughts and he wasn't able to sleep...

On the table, Suga said: Isn't he hungry?
Namjoon: I think so... he just slept.
Jhope: what was wrong with him? His face was really sad.
Jimin told Namjoon: hyung, didn't you ask him what happened?
Namjoon: I did, but he just said he's OK...
Tae: I've never seen him like this before.
Jungkook: Let's eat we'll ask him later!
Everyone: Jungkook!
Jungkook: What?! Talking doesn't solve any problem. And if he said he's ok, maybe it's something he doesn't want to tell us. If you're worried about him, just ask him one more time and if he answered the same, don't ask anymore.
Jimin: you're right, but if it's something that made him this sad, shouldn't we help him? We just want to help not bother him.
- I'm alright.
Everyone turned their heads to the voice, it was Jin.
Namjoon said: Uh... We were just_
- I know... Sorry I made you worried. I'm just... tired... that is all.
Jhope said: don't you want to eat someth__
- just a glass of water.
Namjoon filled a glass of cold water and gave it to Jin. Jin said: thank you...
And went back to his room. Everyone were still worried, but no one talked about it anymore.

Next morning, everyone were eating breakfast. The only one who wasn't on the table was Jin. Tae said: he's still sleeping?
Namjoon: I'm gonna wake him up...
He went to the room but saw the bed empty. Then he turned back and saw Jin, smiling and saying: mornin'!
Namjoon was amazed of his expression. He said: Are you better?
Jin said: I said I was just tired. I think I made you all worried so much. Sorry!
Namjoon pated on Jin's shoulder and said: don't you dare to hide anything from us! We are not just friends or groupmates, we are a family!
- yeah... I know.
- and hurry up, come to eat breakfast.
Namjoon said it and went out.

"Don't worry. I smile, I laugh, and I don't let you get sad because of me..." Jin said to himself.