arrogance [s.m]

thirty-five

-
[anya]
-

the air felt muggy, not exactly hot, nor cold, just muggy. stuffy. uncomfortable; it was almost pathetic fallacy. i felt exactly how the air was, and it wasn't pleasant at all. there was an air of awkwardness at breakfast, the entirety of us all knowing what happened last night, none of us wanting to even speak about it.

avery had just had her morning feed, and she was quite excited today, seeing everyone around her, waking up with her, and eager to play with her. she was the star of the day, everyday, and today i was more than glad about that because i really didn't want to talk about last night, even thought i knew shawn and i would have to talk at some stage.

things felt even more worse between us.

when i said i wanted to talk before we went, well he went, to sleep, i meant it. i couldn't find sleep after that, it was just on my mind; and it wouldn't leave, it wouldn't give me some peace and quiet so i could actually fall asleep without stress weighing over me.

i could sense that shawn felt how awkward things were too, he kept looking at me all of breakfast, and whenever i looked back at him, he would quickly turn away. i knew he felt bad about things, but i knew he was angry too, and i didn't want to get on the other side of that.

shawn looked tired today.

his eyes were sunken in, slightly puffy and red, and his figure just seemed half asleep. did he not get to sleep like i did? was he just restless? is he feeling exactly how i feel with everything going on?

avery was currently on the floor, a blanket underneath her, and pillows surrounding her, as she gurgled and wriggled about, making everyone around her laugh and stare in awe of the baby simply being a baby in front of them.

she was getting bigger and stronger as the days went on, she wasn't my little newborn anymore, she was growing into a new stage of her life, she seemed older, and more open to everyone around her, and that made my heart swell with pure joy.

even if shawn was actively ignoring me, i knew for a fact that we shared some happiness through her, and that was more than i could ask for in tough times like this.

i sigh gently, getting up from my crouched position, and walking to the kitchen, craving a cool glass of water, needing to feel refreshed almost immediately.

"hey," i almost freeze at the sound of his hoarse voice, wondering why he was talking to me.

"hi," i say, feeling nerves come across me as he stands directly opposite me, taking a seat on one of the bar stools.