arrogance [s.m]

forty

-
[shawn]
-

the slight condensation formed from the glass of beer i was holding coated my hand; a small breeze was led around the restaurant from the large veranda doors being open, the early evening summer air raising the mood of the dinner.

"saw anya earlier," niall says to me, as the other two engage in their own chatter, eagerly discussing something to do with space, or earth, i wasn't exactly paying attention. "she looked good, how's she been?"

"she's doing well," i answer, my cheeks flushing and my heart skipping a beat at the simple thought of her. "yeah, she's incredible man," i chuckle, looking down at my beer. "you know, things have been difficult lately, but fuck, she's the best part of everything."

"you're talking as if you know she's the one," niall grins at me, taking a sip of his drink.

"i mean she is," i smile to myself, "she's the mother of my child, fuck, she's everything to me."

"i'm really happy for you guys, you deserve it all," he tells me, patting my back as i raise my glass up to my lips, taking a long gulp of the alcoholic beverage.

"thanks man, should've invited her tonight, she- fuck," my eyes go wide, and i slowly place my drink down onto the table, anxiety creeping into my mind. "fuck! i was supposed to go on a date with her tonight! fuck!" i curse, standing up immediately, taking my wallet out and throwing down a fifty dollar bill onto the dark wood table. "oh fuck sake, she probably thinks i bailed on her, fuck!"

"woah, shawn, mate calm down," niall says to me, standing up and placing his hand on my shoulder, but i'm quick to shove it away.

"no, you-" i cut myself off with a sigh. "things weren't okay between me and her till last night. i need to go, i'm sorry," i mutter, picking up my beer again and chugging half of the glass down, feeling the alcohol only fuel the adrenaline pumping through my veins.

"okay, alright, see you later mate-" i cut off everything else, the thought of anya upset being the only thing on my mind, making me incredibly nervous and scared to what was going to happen.

just as she was beginning to trust me again, i had to go and fuck it up.

how the fuck could i say yes to james when i saw him in the corridor, when i was on my way to go meet anya for our date? how could i so easily forget? how could i be so stupid?

i quickly order an uber back to the hotel, and pace about on the street, feeling the box i bought her this morning press up to my thigh from the pocket of my trousers, flooding me with panic and anxiety immediately. the little box i bought her only this morning, containing the ring engraved with avery's time of birth, the gift i was going to give her to show her i was in it for the long run, the band that meant in due course i was going to propose to her after at least a few years, but the band that would prove to her i would be hers forever.