The Doctor is IN💙

Nostalgia

Tots POV

I was ecstatic upon hearing the news that nagising na si Celine, thou she's still under close monitoring it's a good sign.  Ortho wise she's already cleared but I still need to check her up now that she's awake.

I am now on my way to her room and honestly I'm scared of what might happen in there. For sure she doesn't know yet na ako nag opera sa kanya.

Galit pa kaya siya sa akin? Napatawad na kaya niya ako? Alam na kaya niya ang totoo? Mga tanong na paulit-ulit nlang sa utak ko. Lately parang wala ako sa sarili ko, di ako maka pag focus. After that small talk with Bea, I keep on thinking if Bea's right, kailangan ba namon mag-usap, kailangan ko bang mag explain?

I was lost in my thoughts when a nurse happened to bump me at dun ko namalayan na nasa harap na pala ako ng room ng taong hanggang ngayon ay mahal na mahal ko pa rin.

This is it. I need to face them. I inhale and exhale deeply first before knocking on the door.

• • knock knock knock • •

Pasok. Boses pa lang kilala ko na ito ay sa ama ni celine at nagsimula ng magwala ang aking puso.

Dahan dahan kong binuksan ang pinto at tiningnan kung sino sino ang nasa loob. At kung sweswertehin ka nga naman, anjan ang pamilya niya, si Jema at ang barkada.

Pagkakita nila sa akin sa may bukana ng pintuan ay natahimik silang lahat. Parang gusto kung magpalamon that time sa lupa. Di ko alam anong gagawin ko.

Dr. Carlos. Pasok ka. Ate Den breaks the silence at tuluyan na akong pumasok ng kwarto ni mahal. At dun ko din naisip na doctor pala ako, andito ako dahil doctor niya ako, wala ng iba pa dahil matagal ng natapos ang sa amin ni Celine.

Magandang hapon po sa inyo. Tingnan ko lang po ang pasyente. I answered. I tried to sound professional pero di parin maitago ang kunting panginginig ng boses ko.

Cge po doc. Sagot ng mama ni Celine. Kaya dumeretso na ako sa may paanan ng higaan, yung lower leg dn naman niya ang ichecheck ko.

Maam could you please lift your right and left legs freely. Now try lifting with me pressing on your legs. May nararamdaman ka bang pain while doing it. Thou she look confused right now, she's been following my instructions with no complain. She has this aura that she wanted to fully recover right away.

Pain? My legs hurts a little but it's tolerable. Sometimes I can feel numbness. I was just staring at her while she was talking. She still look so beautiful. Now it makes me mad at myself for doing horrible things in past.

What you're feeling is normal, tolerable pain and numbness. Once Dr. Wong says you're clear already, we'll start your physical therapy immediately. That would be all, I'll take my leave now. I need some space. I need to get out of this room now. The past is hunting me again. After telling them my plans, I hurriedly excused myself.

Thank you Dr. Carlos. That's all I need to hear now. I just smiled at her, before I left them.

Without looking back, I headed directly sa rooftop ng hospital. Di ko na nga pinansin ang mga nakasalubong ko. I needed to escape. I needed to be alone.

Pagkarating ko sa rooftop, ay agad akong umupo sa usual spot ko, sa isang sulok kung saan ay di agad mapapansin kung may tao ba.

Agad ko ring pinakawalan ang mga luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilang tumulo. Ang hirap pala ng ganito, sobrang sakit. Pero ito ang pinili ko at dapat kung panindigan.