The soft, consistent beeps woke me up. I was in a darkened room, but I could still tell everything was all white. So a hospital. I looked around and saw a heart rate monitor. That was attached to my finger. I had a saline drip in my arm and my throat was sore. Okay. So they pumped my stomach. I knew too much from dealing with Max and Ronnie that I knew what they'd done to me. A nurse came in. "Oh. Miss Radke, you're awake! I'm glad, I'm glad." She looked at a computer monitor. "Alright. So they pumped your stomach and you're under suicide watch."
"I'm not suicidal."
"Then why'd you take the pills?"
"Cause I miss my brother."
She wrote that down. "I see. But your brother was in the waiting room."
"Not him. That's Anthony. I miss Ronnie."
"Where's Ronnie?"
"Dead." I said simply. I must've been out of it from the pills, I usually couldn't talk about Ronnie's death without breaking down.
"I'd like to do a psych evaluation before any visitors come in, alright?" She asked, then left the room without waiting for an answer.
I groaned and threw my head back, hitting the pillow. A few minutes later a man came in. "Hello, Arizona. I'm Seth Anderson. I'm the therapist here. I'd like to ask you a few questions."
"Go ahead, I'm not gonna stop you."
"Why'd you swallow the pills?"
"I missed Ronnie. It was impulsive."
"Who's Ronnie, and why do you miss him?"
"He's my brother, and he's dead."
"Why's he dead?"
"I killed him."
"What happened?"
"He was teaching me to drive, and a drunk driver barreled into us and killed Ronnie. I survived."
"Okay." He wrote that down. "Have you ever felt suicidal before this?"
"I mean... Everyone thinks about dying. But no, I don't think so."
"Have you ever done drugs?"
"I've smoked and drank."
"Do you hang out with people that do drugs?"
"Ronnie used to, before he cleaned up his act. Max does."
"Okay. On a scale of one to ten, how sad do you feel on a regular basis? Before and after Ronnie's death?"
"Before it was a four or five, and after, it's an eight, nine."
"Okay. That's all, I'll send in a visitor, if you're up to it."
"Do it, I don't care."
Seth walked out and a couple minutes later, Jacky ran in. "Arizona, I thought you were dead, and-"
"I'm fine." I said bitterly.
He kissed my hair. "You don't smell like you."
"I smell like hospital, probably."
"You're okay."
"She is?" Someone asked. Max walked in. "Good. This was one of Ronnie's rooms, one of the times he got busted for drugs."
"Oh, wonderful." I muttered.
"Jacky was scared."
"Really?"
"Of course." Jacky whispered.
"Too scared to just be a friend." Max sat on a chair. "You two are dating, aren't you?"
"No, we're not."
"Really? My guesses are usually spot on. Huh."
"Fair." Jacky said. "Honey, why?"
"I missed Ronnie."
"So you...?"
"Wanted to join him." Max said quietly. "She wants to join Ronnie."
"Honey, no." He moved around the tubes connecting me to the machines and wrapped me in a hug. "No. I know you miss Ronnie, I know that. But you can't join him. He's dead. He'd be disappointed in you, you know. Sure, it might be all happy and stuff, but you'd be dead and you'd be leaving us. We love you, we can't lose you."
"But..."
"It's okay."
"This is my fault." I muttered.
"No. It's not."
I just stared at Jacky. "Grow the fuck up and face reality for once."
YOU ARE READING
He Went Out On A Chariot Of Fire
FanfictionRonnie Radke was, as you know, the lead singer of Falling In Reverse and ex-lead singer of Escape The Fate. However, a catastrophic accident occurs and his little sister, Arizona, is left to fend for herself doing things she never thought she'd do.
