Ch. 36 • I Don't Know Her

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Jackson, MS. April 1944
Saturday 5:08 pm

Paislee

I watched as Sheila sat in front of me giddily rambling. She tapped her blush-colored nails onto the counter and continued to talk. I could hear her but in honesty, I wasn't listening. My mind and conscious was disguised with all my thoughts. We both sat in swinging, raised chairs at a near soda shop sipping on Coca-cola floats. I slurped the last of it up before the waiter grabbed my glass and scurried off to fix me another float. I barely even noticed him.

When Deen left my house the other afternoon, I wasn't anywhere close to my normal self. At dinner with my family, I was silent and barely ate any of my food. They asked me if anything happened and all I could do was shake my head. Deen leaving for the Army had consumed my head. All day and all night. Last night, when I couldn't get a wink of sleep, I simply sat on the floor, opened up my bottom drawer, and pulled out his letters. I traced the writing and pressed my lips against the envelope where his name was neatly written. It was all I could do.

"Paislee Miller!" Sheila yelled into my ear.

"Yes?" I responded.

"Have you even been listening? You know what, tell me what I just said."

I shrugged. "You were talking about . . . Robert?"

She sighed dramatically as I offered her a sorry smile. My guess must've been wrong and if I knew Sheila, she wouldn't let this go. She looked down into her mug and stirred the mixture of vanilla ice cream and Coke together slowly. The quietness between us gave me another excuse to daze off.

Currently, I was partially upset with Deen. It's not like I wanted to be. Truly, it wasn't even my fault. It was my brain's and the ability that it had to overthink this whole situation. Thoughts of what Deen's real intentions were through the year spun in my head. Did he really just want something new because it would be his last year before going off? Or did he genuinely fall for me, like I did for him, and this whole situation suddenly turned sour? I had hoped it was the latter one.

"You okay, Paislee?" Sheila asked cautiously. She eyed me carefully from the pupils of my eyes to the tapping toes of my feet. "Your eyes are watering."

I blink before me and saw that I had just been plainly staring at the drink that sat perfectly in front of me. With whipped cream slowly melting and small bubbles forming on the sides of the chilled glass. When I heard Sheila shift in her chair, I turned to her and nodded. The glimmer in my eyes from tears was still there but I blinked it away.

"I'm—" I cleared my throat so it sounded less weak. "I'm fine, Sheila."

"You know you can talk to me about anything right?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Anything?"

"You know it," She said.

"Thanks for the reminder. You ready to beat feet?"

"Yeah, let's hit the road."

Fingering through my wallet, I pulled out a five and two-dollar bill and gave them to the waiter. Sheila and I hopped down from the stools before yelling 'Keep the change!' and exiting the shop.

"I'm so full from soda," I groaned. "Feels like I'm full of air and ready to pop."

"Did I tell you that Robert's coming over?" Sheila asked.

"No, but why is he coming over? Something bad happen?"

"No, everything's fine. I'm just trying to spend time with him, and well, my family loves him so they insisted on dinner with him. I'm sorry if it ruins our night together."

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