This is the Erotic Book Club's club book with the stories and feedback for the 2019 session.
For information on how to join E.B.C., please check the current sessions' club book.
I've read 4 chapters. From reading the chapters, I've assumed that we're within a historical environment. There are kings, nobles, princesses, and bandits as spices for a plot that could lead to many possibilities. It takes 4 chapters before anything of interest happens and it's a shock to the lead character. She holds the resemblance of a wild horse, so her fate as she goes through her journey is one I'm sure she won't take laying down. At the moment, I have no connection with any of the characters which ais a no-no for the first few chapters. Sometimes a short dialogue or a paragraph or two per chapter to give insight is enough to fix this. There are some grammar issues, but I'm sure that you'll deal with those when you're editing.
~GoddessV
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
What did you think the book was about?
An arranged marriage that the protagonist does not want.
Did you feel that the book filled your expectations?
Yes, it was something new to read, and I enjoyed the chapters I read through. It kept me engaged throughout the reading. I didn't feel bored, and the author has a good idea where she wants to go with the story.
What about the plot?
The plot seems like a heavy one which requires the main female lead to marry an older man. She doesn't get to choose who she marries, and she wants freedom. The plot has been used before, but of course, it can be an original and one of a kind.
Do the characters seem real and relatable?
In some ways, yes. The female lead is going to be forced to marry a man she isn't in love with. Women tend to want a marriage for love and not money or power. Although I think she can be more reliable if the internal dialogue is added. She has to be experiencing a lot of turmoil and mixed emotions, anger, fear, resentment. I think this could. What does she feel during conversations, is her heart racing, does she feel like crying, is her skin hot, is she sweating, does she want to punch someone int he face but doesn't.
How was the pacing of the chapters you read?
The pacing seemed fine. It wasn't rushed or anything. I did not see any areas for improvement here.
How was the description of the chapters?
This area could use work. I did not find many sensory details, but more dialogue than anything. Set the scene, what the characters look like, what are the characters doing, what is their body language telling the reader. What time period does it take place, where does she live and what is it like, what does the food taste like, what do you see, hear, smell. It will add some length to your writing but help fill in the gaps missing and make a beautiful scene. The dialogue is smooth, so adding bits and pieces of sensory details can make your writing a lot more colorful.
Describe what you liked or disliked about the authors writing style?
I enjoyed the story itself of what I read so far. The author is good at creating unique and different stories. I like the originality of her work. I think what would help make her work stronger is adding more sensory details and internal dialogue about the characters feelings, and sensations.
