Void // Billie Eilish

Eleven

~
Billie
~

I roll my eyes when I have to decline yet another call from Alexis, but for some reason I can't bring myself to actually block her number.

She's been calling and texting me constantly since I drove off yesterday without her, which I only feel a little bit bad about. I've also been getting none stop calls from my manager about how to damage control after all the articles that dropped about me yesterday. He's pissed that the paps invaded me and Lexi's privacy like that, but he also thinks I shouldn't have talked to them the way I did because they're so good at making me look like the bad guy.

I'll probably just rant about it on instagram, anyone decent will take my side when they hear about what really went down. Surrounding someone and hounding them with questions while they're trying to calm down someone having a PTSD episode? Fuck outta here.

The only thing I don't know how I'll deal with is all the dating rumors swirling about me and "the mystery girl" now. But they'll die out pretty quickly if I'm not seen with Lexi again, which I won't be.

Screw her.

"Why do you keep ignoring Alexis?" a voice asks and I jump slightly then turn my head to see Finneas hovering behind me with a bowl of cereal in his hand.

"Christ, how long have you been there?" I ask and he shrugs.

"Dunno, I kinda zoned out," he says and walks around the couch to sit next to me with a yawn. "Answer my question. You declined her last night too."

"I don't wanna talk about it. Also that's a little creepy that you're keeping track," I mumble and he gives me a look. "It's complicated." Another look. I groan in frustration and give in, "I found out she's involved in bad shit again."

Fin frowns, his eyebrows lacing together in worry and what looks like a bit of confusion. "Same bad shit as last time?"

"I don't know all the details, I just know drugs are involved. And she got in a bad fight," I answer and his worry clearly deepens.

"I hope she's okay," he says sadly and reaches into his pocket while still holding his cereal with his other hand. "I should call her." That wasn't the reaction I was expecting.

"Fuck her," I mutter and he stops his movements.

"What?"

"Fuck her. She lied to me," I say with a scoff.

"Billie, you said yourself you don't know all the details," he reminds me and I roll my eyes again.

"I know enough," I reply stubbornly, even though my harshness doesn't truly reflect the conflicting thoughts that are swirling around in my brain.

I know it's only a matter of time before I talk to her again, but right now I'm just too upset to give her the time of day. I know it's dramatic, but I just feel as if the last month I've spent with her has been a lie.

"Billie," he says softly, urging me to look at him. "If she's caught up in bad shit again we should be helping her, not shunning her."

The instant the words leave his mouth I know he's right, but the hardheaded part of me is still too upset to think about talking to Lexi right now. After everything we went through together, she still felt the need to lie to me, and that shit hurts.