Void // Billie Eilish

Twelve

~
Alexis
~

Today's the day I've been both looking forward to and dreading for the last week. I have an interview with someone at Billie's label, and while I'm excited at the idea of landing a job in the industry I've wanted to be in since I was a kid, I'm terrified that I won't be good enough.

I've spent the last week tweaking some of my favorite songs that I've written and produced, getting them as close to perfect as possible. I've also been dealing with Noel and a bunch of clients hounding me for more shit, which has been really annoying and draining.

I won't let myself backslide though. I have to stay on track, if not for myself then for Finneas and Billie and everyone else who actually gives a shit about me.

I check the time and bounce my knee up and down anxiously. I should leave soon. I let out a shaky breath and reach into my desk drawer to pull out one of my pre-rolls, quickly sparking it and taking a deep drag to ease my nerves. I'm not trying to get high, I just need a little something to take the edge off.

Once I finish the joint I stand up and make sure I have everything I need, then adjust my outfit and hair a bit in the mirror before heading downstairs while I hail an Uber.

A bit into the drive my phone rings, and I smile when I look at the screen to see Billie's name and face.

"Hey, Princess," I answer happily.

"Hey, Lexi," she replies and I'm pretty sure I can hear the smile in her voice. "You on your way to the interview?"

I chuckle, "Yes, Billie. I'm not gonna ditch."

"I didn't think...I just wanted to make sure you weren't psyching yourself out or something."

"I wasn't."

"Lexi," she says simply and that's all it takes for me to let out a sigh and give in.

"Okay, I was."

She knows me too well.

"Talk to me," she says and I bite my lip gently while I think.

"I just...don't know if I deserve this. I mean, I don't only want to get the job because I know you and Fin. That doesn't seem fair, I'm sure there's tons people who are way better than me who deserve it more and they just don't happen to know the Billie Eilish," I let out the insecure thoughts I've been feeling this week then let out a puff of air, glad to have it out.

"Lex, listen to me," she starts, her voice firm. "You got a full ride scholarship to the best music production school in the country. And a scholarship to USC, and a scholarship to NYU," she lists and I bite my lip awkwardly, because it feels weird having someone list my achievements like that. "Plus you helped me and Fin with the production on my first album. You know, the album that made the label you're applying to millions of dollars."

"We get it, you're rich," I tease and she chuckles. "I barely helped with that."

"Fuck off, and My Strange Addiction alone was 90% you."

"The production or the inspiration?" I tease and smile to myself.

"You already know I wrote it about you, don't milk it you cheesy bitch," she says and I laugh as I look out the car window, going silent for a moment. "How do you feel now?"