Void // Billie Eilish

Seventeen

~
Billie
~

I take a shaky breath as I get out of my car and look up at the apartment building in front of me. Devon lives here, and I'm seeing him for the first time since finding out I'm pregnant.

He definitely blocked my number, because he hasn't been responding to me at all. I'm leaving to go camping tomorrow, and ever that I'm going on tour right away, so I have to tell him before I don't get a chance to for months.

I nervously open the door and walk into the familiar building, nodding at the security guard I recognize before I step into the elevator.

When I get to Devon's floor I walk to his door as slowly as possible, and when I reach it I pause for a while before lifting my hand and knocking tentatively.

When he opens it and sees me her lets out a grunt of disapproval, unsurprisingly not looking at all happy to see me like he used to.

"What are you doing here?" he asks blankly and I fiddle with the many rings on my fingers anxiously.

Whenever Lexi sees me do that she takes my hand and laces our fingers together to calm me down.

"I, uh, can I come in? We need to talk," I ask nervously and he just keeps staring at me with a frown.

"We can talk out here."

I give him a pleading look but his hard stare doesn't soften. I sigh in defeat and hang my head for a few seconds before looking up at him again, pushing the hair out of my face as I do.

"Okay Imma just say it I guess. I'm pregnant," I say bluntly and his eyes widen. "And before you ask if I'm sure, yes I'm sure. I took a test and went to the doctor just in case. And yes it's yours, it couldn't anyone else's."

Claudia took me to the doctor a few days ago, just so we could get a proper test and then work from there. I got an ultrasound and consultation and cried a little bit while the three of us discussed my options together. Great time.

"You keeping it?" he asks after a long pause.

I shrug. "I dunno yet. I'm still considering everything."

"You shouldn't," he says quickly and I furrow my eyebrows together because I've been agonizing over this for weeks, but it's so easy for him. Why cant it be that easy for me? "I mean unless you want it. But I don't."

"So you wouldn't stick around if I did?" I ask and he looks guilty for a second before it disappears.

"I got shit to do, Bil," he says lamely and scratches the back of his head. "A kid would fuck that up."

"Right, because I can't relate to that at all," I say sarcastically and he rolls his eyes. "So you expect me to just do this alone?"

"If you keep it then your new girlfriend that you have so much history with can play baby daddy," he says coldly then shuts the door in my face, leaving me with tears in my eyes and shock on my face.

I didn't know what to expect, but I definitely didn't expect him to be so cold. I thought he really cared about me, but I guess that's in the past. He used to look at me with love in his eyes and tell me about how much he liked being around me and all that mushy shit, but now he just seems heartless.