Lies {L.S.}

1

"Harry was literally your best friend. What the hell happened?" Niall asked me as we walked down the hall.

I shrugged. "I don't like getting close to people."

It wasn't a total lie. I was in love with Harry. I didn't love him, I was in love with him, but the whole idea of love terrifies the shit out of me. I don't know how Niall managed to pass the test, but he did. He was the only one, and I planned to keep it that way.

I've always kept my distance from everyone, not just people that I could potentially like. I didn't know how to love anyone and I didn't want to hurt anyone the way I've been hurt.

"Can you give me a reason? Like he's fucking hurt you just dropped him," Niall said, grabbing my shoulder. "What the fuck, Lou?"

"I can stop hanging out with people if I want to. You know I do it all the time." I pulled out of his grip but stayed in place. "You're the only person who I haven't dropped."

"I know there's a reason. Talk to me." I crossed my arms and looked down. A very clear signal I didn't want to talk about it. "You're not shutting me out. What the hell happened? What did he do?"

"Why do you think he did something? Liam literally did nothing either, and I stopped fucking with him."

I didn't want this conversation. I didn't want to think about how hurt Harry was when I literally walked past him and ignored him all day. I shouldn't have let it get this far. It's my fault, not his.
 
"You don't even want to do this, you want to be-"

"You don't know what I fucking want, Niall!" I shouted. Good thing it was after school and there wasn't anyone around to witness my breakdown. "No one knows what I fucking want except me!"

Niall stepped back, shaking his head. "You can't keep doing this. You can't keep pushing everyone away, Louis!"

"I do what I want," I spat, walking away and to the doors.

Niall grabbed my shoulder again. "No, I'm not letting you leave now, because if you leave that means we're done too. I'm not letting you be completely alone."

"I have my reasons, Niall. I don't want people close, that's it. End of story." I closed my eyes.

"Why not? What's keeping you from trusting anyone?"

"I have to go home," I said quietly.

"Louis-"

I walked outside and stuffed my hands in my pockets. I blinked back the tears that were threatening to spill and took deep breaths to calm my racing heart.

"You can't tell anyone that. That's your secret. You can't tell anyone," I reminded myself.

I opened my front door and took off my shoes. I went straight to my room and closed the door, putting my phone in my closet.

"Louis?" My uncle called, and I froze while closing the door.

"Yeah?" I called back, walking to my bedroom door. Don't be drunk. Don't be drunk.

"There you are." He was grinning, his eyes bloodshot. I gulped as he walked into the room, closing my door. "I was wondering where you were."

I didn't say anything as he walked over and hugged me. I forced myself to move my arms around him, hugging him back. I tried not to cringe when I felt his hand start rubbing up and down my back.

"I'm tired, we should lay down," he said. I nodded mutely, not having a real say in the matter. I could protest, but it just makes it worse in the long run.

He was too big to try and fight, and frankly, I didn't want to try to fight him. He was only a few years older than I was. Just because he was drunk did not mean he wasn't any easier to take down.