Lies {L.S.}

12

Leave out the sexual assault. They'd both break it because of that and I couldn't even be mad at them. I closed my eyes and forced myself to calm down by taking deep breaths ad counting to ten in my head. "When I was six, my whole family got into a bad car accident and I was the only one who managed to survive. I don't know how, the doctors didn't know how. My mom always had a plan apparently for my uncle to take care of me. So that's where I went.

"He hated the fact I was sad about them. It was like I was supposed to become his child or something. He didn't take into account the fact I was traumatized by being the only kid to survive out of everyone, or that my brain wouldn't just make the switch to him being my dad. He tried to tell me my parents were horrible and they hated what I was growing up to be.

"For a while it was only verbal abuse. He just made me feel bad about missing them and as a kid, it was enough to start destroying my psyche. When people asked me if I missed them, he would change the topic quickly and avoided my parents at all costs. So when I didn't have him around, I had no idea how to answer that question because I've never really been allowed to think about it." I felt Harry move closer to me on the couch while I paused. Skip it. Skip it. Skip it.

"It's okay," Harry whispered. "Just breathe for a second."

I nodded and slowly opened my eyes. "One time I didn't do my chores and I forgot to do my homework, and that's the first time he hit me. Well, he shoved me. And it wasn't like a slow progression of him doing it once then not doing it for a while, it was straight to him doing it at the smallest things I did wrong." I looked from Harry's feet to his face for a few seconds. "You guys won't like me after this."

"Don't say that," Harry denied quickly. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "Nothing will push us away."

I shook my head as tears formed in my eyes. "You'll hate me and-"

Harry cupped my face in his hands. "I can't hate you, Louis. None of this is your fault."

"I never stopped it. No one would believe me if I tried. I learned that as a kid. He made it so clear no one would believe me." I tried to pull back from Harry, but he wouldn't let me go. I closed my eyes and held my breath without really realizing it.

"Harry," Niall said carefully. "Give him space."

Harry didn't let go. "Look at me, love." His thumb brushed over my cheek lightly. "I'm going to believe you. I didn't believe you when you kept saying you were okay. I believe you now. Breathe," he instructed.

I finally inhaled and forced it back out. I kept my eyes shut tightly because I didn't want to their faces. They would hate me forever.

"He... When I mess up the most... or when he wants..." I shook my head, finally pulling away from Harry and backing myself against the wall. "I can't."

"It's okay. Hey," Niall said, making me glance up. He moved closer and Harry was deep in thought. "You don't have to tell us any more. It's okay."

"He sexually abuses you," Harry said, snapping out of his small daze. "Doesn't he?"