We got to the party which we rode with Aryahs brother
I looked out the window regretting coming to this party I haven't been around so many people since my birthday party and over time has developed social anxiety is what my doctor said
I really haven't been the same since I lost my baby I got out the car feeling as if all eyes were on me so I hid behind Aryah shyly we walked through the doors and music blasting in the medium sized dining room
we walked out the back following sonny the whole time and we stopped at the kitchen where they greeted a group of boy but I immediately laid eyes on Anthony
I haven't seen him in forever and I don't think he know I lost the baby because we were on bad terms at the moment
I wasn't as mad as I was at first but I missed him now just his personality and how he made me feel safe like I said he was like the brother I had never had
he walked over to me smiling and leaned in for a hug I hugged him back kinda shocked cause I thought he still hated me
"You still mad at me Kaycia"
"No I miss you"
"I miss you to so hows my god daughter that I never knew about"
I looked down at the grown trying to hold back tears and just come out and say it but I had a anxiety attack and started shaking and crying
Aryah noticed and came over to comfort me while I cried in her shoulder this was so fucking embarrassing I was at a party in front of a lot of people I had never meet before having a anxiety attack
"What the fuck did you say to her Anthony"
"Nothing I just asked about my god daughter"
"Oh"
Aryah got quiet as well and she walk me to the back I guess where the bathroom was
I went in and she followed and I hopped up on the sink trying to get myself together
"Kaycia this shit getting worse you need to go back to the psychiatrist"
"Okay"
I wiped my face and reapplied my lip gloss and we walked back outside we turned the corner and when I tell you my heart could of stopped it was podie and some other female hugged up I just shook my head and laughed it off even though it hurted me
"Aryah why did you bring me here"
"I promise you I didn't know he would be here just have fun and ignore him"
I nodded my head in agreement and looked around for some liquor the best thing for me to do was to get drunk off my ass so I won't think about it
I found a bottle of Hennessy and poured in a red solo cup and chugged it feeling the burning but relaxing to me feeling in my throat
I poured some more but this time I filled it up to the middle I walked around drinking out of my cup when the liquor kicked in
I finished it off and went over to the dance floor and danced a little until Aryah came and got me
"I got somebody I want you to meet"
we went back to the kitchen and it was sonny and some other boy standing beside him
"Damn you fine what your name" I said aloud
"Kaycia are you drunk already" Aryah asked pulling me to the side
"Mmmhm"
"Try to act normal I'm trying to get you a new man and you gonna embarrass yourself"
"Fuck these niggas I'm not looking for a relationship"
We walked back over to them and all attention was on me for what reason I don't know
"What y'all looking at"
"Hey my name tray" the cute mixed boy said sticking his hand out
"Oh hey nice to meet you my name is Kaycia"
"Sonny told me about you so you looking for a boyfriend"
"No I just got out a relationship and I don't trust y'all kind anymore"
"What you mean by our kind"
"You boys in general y'all lie cheat and manipulate just like him" I said pointing to podie and the girl he was hugged up with
"So that must be you ex"
"Yep"
"Trust me I feel where you coming from my ex cheated on me to"
"Oh so you feel why I'm not looking for a relationship"
"Yeah I'm not either but I know who is and hasn't stopped talking about you"
"Who"
"Sonny"
So Aryah was right her brother having a crush on me I laughed it off and walked over to Aryah to tell her
"Aryah your brother really does like me"
"I told you"
"But I'm still not looking for a relationship"
"Well tell him that but don't break his heart that's still my brother"
"I'll tell him another day"
"Better hurry he get attached quick"
"Okay"
I was getting sober and I didn't wanna be sober so I went and fixed me a couple of drinks
after about four cups of henny I was faded I went outside looking around and nobody was out there so I went to sit on a lawn chair
I shifted around and got comfortable and looked into the sky thinking I heard faint talking so I looked up and seen podie was sitting on the other side of the pool talking to some girl
I laid back down rolling my eyes I could hear them and he was telling her how he loved her I wanted to scream to the top of my lungs he don't love you
but I could do is cry cause he was just telling me a few months ago he loved me I got up instantly getting dizzy but I tried to make it into the house but I fell flat on my face from tripping over my shoe
I could feel podie and the random hoe staring at me so I just laid there sobbing I should of just stayed in the chair
