✔ Save me ⌇⌇ JHS + OC

⦃27⦄ part 1

a/n: This chapter will contain sensitive topics so proceed with caution. If it gets too much just click off and read starting from chapter 28 only.

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APT 302

Dating Hoseok wasn't far from her daily life, apart from sometimes shyly kissing. They were taking things slow, but it wasn't weird to suddenly have him enterlacing their fingers together, or hug her and kiss her goodbye when he had to leave. It was everything back to normal.

"Normal". Normality was a strange concept for the young woman, for her a normal life was a life filled with routines and schedules. She woke up at 5 am with the alarm clock imitating the sound of sparrows singing, took 3 pills for different effects, and did her morning hygiene for a long time while listening to music and dancing and singing in front of the mirror.

After finishing her beauty and care routine, she would go to her room and get ready, putting together looks in front of the mirror, and completely disorganizing her closet.

At 7 o'clock the alarm clock rang again for her to go have breakfast. In half an hour she would prepare something close to edible in the kitchen, writing down everything that needed to be replenished at the end of the week on a notepad and then taking another 5 pills.

With her belly full, she gets ready to clean up the kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom and at 8:30 am she heads to her home office, where she would work on sketches with a deadline, participate in meetings to show her progress, and to know what needed to be delivered o as soon as possible.

At 12 pm she would take a break for lunch, which she prepared while watching video tutorials on VLive, and then at 1:30 pm, she would return to her work.

A new snack break would be at 3 pm and then it would be back to work until 5 pm when Seokjin would arrive for a therapy session. Sometimes he came earlier, in the morning or after lunch. It would all depend on what he wanted to cover in the session and how the session might affect the rest of Soora's day.

Then afterward she would have dinner at 7 pm, take 4 more pills, watch some television, and then, before bed, have a glass of milk with honey and 2 more pills. At the weekend, she liked to stay all day binge-watching series and movies, sometimes reading and mostly enjoying Hoseok's company.

That was the normality Soora was used to until a short time ago. Then the new neighbor came along. Not that he changed her routine, but many things triggered changes after his arrival in the building.

Looking back she could only see chaos. Several breaks from her timed day, several escapes from routine, more crises than before; Chae's arrival, meeting Elisa in person, bumping into neighbors and having a panic attack; Being admitted, feeling in constant danger away from home; More frequent consultations with Seokjin, constant fights with Hoseok, long conversations about love with strangers, kissing and starting dating Hobi...

Soora's new normal was frightening, but she felt alive. It was contradictory, yet since she got her illness she felt like living in limbo for so long, so numb inside, so stagnant. She didn't feel that she was living her life, but that life was dragging her along.

She didn't want to die, she just wanted to stop existing. She wanted the world to stop turning, for people to stop living, for her to be transported to a desert island, where it would be just her, the sea, the sun and moon, and nature.