Letters from Anandashram - 1993 to 1994

8. Tooth Pain & Tooth Removed - March 1994

Tooth Pain

March 20-21 1994 Anandashram

Dear Parents,

Yesterday I went to see a dentist in nearby Kanhangad town. For the last two weeks, I’ve had constant throbbing pressure-pain on the right side of my mouth, plus a one-sided headache on the right side temple (forehead). The pain had been 24 hours a day, but I was patiently waiting for it to go away.

I also had an X-ray done, and it was found that the upper right-side wisdom tooth was growing in crooked and was impacted inside the gum. The X-ray looks awful! Just the tip of the tooth is out. The dentist said it should be extracted! The mere mention of the word made me shiver! When she explained the operation would take a long time and be difficult, I thanked her politely then ran away from the office! Why slice open the human body needlessly, is my opinion.

Of course, for many years now I noticed that the tooth was not coming in properly, and I’ve had pain from time to time but it has always went away after a few days. This is the first time the pain has not gone away.

Of course, the headache and toothache still continue even as I write this – but I think of it as God come in this form to keep me company. Why drive Him away? God is very, very close – right on the right side of my mouth!

Plus, in our daily spiritual readings, the last three days has been all about how we must endure physical sufferings and never ask God to take them away – another excuse for me to not have the dreaded operation! And in India, too! I like India, but I would not like to have an operation here except in the hugest hospitals (Venkamma’s bill was Rs 50,000 for one week and she died anyway!): cleanliness is minimal, sterilization is lackadaisical and it is very common for people to die of contaminated needles (same needle for countless patients).

So, I am delaying. Maybe you could call a decent American advice nurse and inform me the pros and cons of leaving in a faulty wisdom tooth. Any danger? Everyone here says it has to be removed someday or the other, but they can't give me a good reason why. The dentist gave me pain pills but I do not use them. I can bear the pain i.e., the company of Ram!

The left side wisdom tooth came in OK, whilst the two lower wisdom teeth are not in existence. The meaning? I do not have any lower wisdom (i.e., worldly matters); I have upper left-hand knowledge (i.e., of spiritual scriptures and teachings); but there is a problem with right-hand wisdom (i.e., samadhi!), it is crooked and impacted unable to progress outward! What do you think of my explanation?! Soo - the only path open to me is to intensify sadhana and once God graces me with samadhi, all will be fine.

All is well here – no other news!

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu!

Love,

Divya

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Tooth Removed

March 24, 1994

Anandashram

Dear Parents,

Divya conveys her namaskars. I wrote how I had tooth pain, a faulty wisdom tooth, but how I decided to delay removal of it. Well, Swami Satchidananda found out and without even consulting me, he made an appointment with an expert surgeon in Mangalore (nearest big town, 1½ hours away). So I had no choice and had to go – God's Will! Swami Satchidananda also sent a long-time devotee with me, a nice German named Margaret (she stays half the year and has been coming for nearly 20 years now). Also this dentist used to work on Krishnabai and also Swami Satchidananda.

The operation was done, though, by the surgeon’s young assistant (I think he’s still in college). For over 40 minutes he tugged and shook and cut – and finally tore out the impacted wisdom tooth. (It didn’t hurt of course, as they gave novacane injection – but I felt the shaking of the jaw as he tugged!)

The complication was that the in-grown wisdom tooth had fused into the neighboring tooth, rotting had set in and the second tooth had been cracked. The tooth couldn’t be saved – so I had two removed! Yes, now I join the rest of the world in having a dentist story. (I wonder if the second tooth had cracked in half while the boy was madly shaking the wisdom tooth loose! He was a fearless and determined fellow!)

Now, I have a cherub-like face on the right side (it’s all swollen) but no pain at all. I get to be in silence and enjoy cups of cereal baby food (watered down - as I can't chew). The removal was done yesterday, 23 March.

Isn’t it interesting that it is exactly six months since Venkamma died, and this whole month I’ve had pain? Also the last day she had tubes in her mouth, and I have the privilege of also experiencing a full mouth! Sometimes Venkamma would say to me, “You don’t know how I feel - you’ve never had pain.”

They put two (or more?) stitches in, which have to be removed after a week. Until then, I will be careful, keeping the mouth closed.

So, all is fine here, I just wanted to give the report. All people where are eager to show compassion, and always ask how I am. Everyone has their own dental horror stories to tell, both young and old! Swami Satchidananda is also continuously inquiring whether I am OK or have pain. The doctor gave antibiotics, which I am taking and Swami Satchidananda is giving homeopathic medicine. Hope you are all well there!

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu!

Love,

Divya

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Cherub-Faced Swelling

March 31, 1994

Anandashram

Dear Parents,

All is well here. Yesterday, they removed the stitches from my mouth and I feel released and fine, free to sing again. From the last week, I have been careful and have not talked or sung. Meanwhile, everyone who I passed would give reports on the amount of swelling on my cheek. For four full days I was a puffy-cheeked cherub! After that, the people said it was normal size but instead, a circle of greenish-yellowish discoloring of the skin had come. It looks so funny - when I looked in a big mirror and saw it, I couldn’t help laughing a lot! I asked the dentist yesterday who said that it was due to bleeding under the skin, in the tissues. He said it would do no harm and would go away after a month. He told me to gargle with salt water. Actually, after the operation I was told to do this but I forgot about it all these days - maybe that’s why the internal bleeding came, I don’t know. But I'm using salt water now, don’t worry.

No other news – hope you’re all well!

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu!

Love,

Divya