bring it back ➳ ben hardy [2]

real life

      theodosia thought about the letter for two weeks before finally flying out to gwilym's, collapsing in his and joseph's arms upon arrival from the airport via taxi, sobbing. she admitted to joe that he was right, making his heart twang though he knew that this was the right thing. they helped her into the house and onto the couch, gwil making her some tea as joe wrapped her in blankets.
      "i just don't know what to do," she said softly, voice cracking. "i'm terrified that it's too late. what if he doesn't love me?"
      "he loves you," gwil said, leaning in the doorway.
      "how do you know?"
      "we talk about it. a lot." he crossed the room, handing her her cup of tea, taking a seat on the coffee table in front of her. "many nights of him crying on my couch. christ, he was just here last night."
      suddenly joe was on his phone, calling benjamin, almost startled when he answered the phone. "hey, mate, long time no talk," ben greeted, voice thick.
      "hey, listen, i'm here with theo, and she really needs to talk to you."
      theo looked at him with startled eyes, heart beginning to race in her chest as joe handed her the phone, giving her a reassuring smile. she nodded, raising to her feet, crossing over to an empty space in the room, hand on her hips as she greeted, "hey, ben."
      "theodosia," he breathed, every emotion evident in his voice. this was the first time he heard her voice for so long and it made him want to cry. "how are you, love?"
      "i, uh, i suppose i'm doing all right. how are you?"
      "i'm well, yeah."
      silence.
      she finally cut through it with a nervous, "did you get my package a while back?" she began to chew on her thumbnail out of habit.
      "i did!" he exclaimed a bit too loud, then cleared his throat. "it's beautiful, i mean, really. better than the first book."
      her cheeks grew hot as she thanked him, beginning to pace the room. "hey, listen, i know it's been so long, but joe and i are here in the uk, well he's been here, i just got here, and i don't know how long i'm going to stay, i suppose it's going to be as long as i need to stay, and now i'm rambling because i want to know if you'd like to meet up sometime?"
      "i dunno," he fumbled, heart racing in his chest. "i've a lot coming up, and -"
      "please," theo cut him off. "i want to talk. face to face. about us."
      ben's chest filled with butterflies as his hopes soared higher than the moon. "i supposed i can clear some time for you, ma chérie."
      "mon beau," she whispered, eyes yet again hot with tears as joe reached out to hold her hand in comfort. "i've missed you terribly."
      "i've missed you." his voice was deeper, thicker, as he himself began to cry. "every time something would come up and i just wanted to talk to you, but i couldn't. i just wanted you."
      it was then that theo's tears freed themselves, sobs stuck in her throat as gwil pulled her onto his lap, rocking her gently to comfort her. "it's been hell," she managed, voice meek. "i'm not okay, ben. i haven't been okay for a long time."
      he swore that in that moment he could feel his heart shatter in his chest. "you said you were at gwilym's, right?"
      "y-yeah, why?"
      "i'll be over in five. we'll go grab a bite. talk. i... i love you theodosia. see you soon."
      and before she could get a word in edgewise, he hung up.