Silence.
That was all that could be heard in the only place where I felt accepted for the way I am. A place, where I can sing as loud as my lungs will let me. Where all my thoughts and ideas are made. Where I can dance and be as weird as I want. Where I can finally be pleased with myself. Where I can be happy. My room.
Although, that wasn't always the case. Sometimes, the people that live next door will leave noise complaints. Sometimes I'll feel unmotivated, and be unproductive on my days off. And sometimes, I'll be hating myself and beating myself up for not being enough, or not doing as good of a job as my fans would want. I would spend sleepless nights of over thinking on where I could have gone wrong in life.
Today was no exception. It's, 6:47 in the evening.
After coming back from the little meeting with the males of the other group, and my manager, I decided to take a nap, not knowing I would wake up 3 hours later. And the rest of the time was spent procrastinating. Well, more like contemplating on wether it was truly a good idea of agreeing with this, project.
I was never good with working in groups, or with people. I was better of working alone. Partners were just a waste of time and space. Who knows, this kid might even leave me to do all the work by myself, which won't be a big surprise, it always happens.
It was now, 6:50.
'I guess I should start packing now' I thought to myself as a lazily sat up from my bed.
I went to my smol closet, where that barely had any clothes in it. It would be expected for an idol to love fashion, and maybe have some designer things with a closet full of beautiful well fitted clothes.
But no. I wasn't that type of person. I only had some tee shirts, sweaters/hoodies, and maybe 2 or 3 dresses hear and there, that I rarely used, hung on the rack. I got my matte black suitcase with a red designed dragon on the front of it. On the bottom it had the initials, A.J. My brothers old suitcase.
I put it on the floor boards next to my bed. As I opened it up, I saw my old photo album of me and my brother. I took it out, feeling the front of it that had the phrase "Word is bond".
I remember the first time i saw this book, as if it happened hours ago.
~Flashback~
"HEY ASH!" He shouted out with that fruity voice of his.
"Yeah?" Ashton asked as she turned around to face her one and only bestfriend who also happens to be her brother.
With an adorable eye smile and his big grin, that showed of his quite deep dimples, he pulled out from his backpack a vintage looking book, that had a dark brown leather cover with the words "word is bond" embroidered on it, in white.
"Do you like it?" He asked in an excited yet nervous tone of voice.
"It's really pretty, but what is it for?" She asked as she gently grabbed it from his hands, touching it gently from letter to letter.
"It's a photo album. You know, for me and you. I figured since we will grow up together, and be in each other's lives for as long as we are allowed, we should make memories and save them in here, so we can look back at it when we are old, and reminisce about the "good old times!" He explained in a very happy and hyper tone.
She just laughed at how excited he got. Sometimes she questioned if he really was older than her. She calmed her laughter and smiled towards her brother. She got up from her spot on the floor and hugged him.
"Yes, we should do that"
~end of flashback~
If only i would've known that, we wouldn't be allowed to be together our whole lives. Now, it will only be I who can look back and make fun of our faces and see how much we've grown.
I felt and wet and warm liquid on my cheeks. I touched it and realized I was crying. I haven't cried in such a long time. I quickly wiped my few tears I had and started packing.
I just got anything I found from my closet, and smoll drawers.
Lastly my passport.
Tomorrow, will be a long day.
