Waiting for You

Chapter 12: Do I Still Love Her?

Josie's P.O.V

Monsé was in tears. Full, body shaking tears.

"Babe? What's wrong?" I asked, cautious yet confused.

"I'm...I'm sorry, Josie. I...I didn't... didn't me-mean for thi...this to hap-happen," She replied half yelling. She looked so sad and guilty, but I didn't know what for.

"I'm pregnant." She then whispered quietly.

It took me a good second to process what she said. By the time I did process it, there was already one tear streaming down my left cheek and down my neck.

"What do you mean 'pregnant'?" I echo.

Monsé took a deep breath and calmed down enough to speak. "The cop that came to your house when you passed out came to my house later that day to bring some comfort food, but I was drunk and it just sort of happened. A few days later, he called again wanting to see me and that's when we found out I was pregnant."

"Get out" I said in a calm tone.

"Josie, I'm sor-"

"I said 'get out'!" I interrupted in a louder voice.

"Ok," She said, clearly defeated.

As soon as she left, I sobbed my eyes out. The emotions I felt were nothing compared to what I felt when Kris left. I felt angry, sad, guilty and strangely happy. I was angry that she cheated. Sad because my heart had broken into a million pieces. I felt guilty because I felt I had caused her to feel the need to cheat. Yet happy because she was going to be a mom. Is that normal? To be happy that your girlfriend, who said she was a lesbian, is pregnant? She cheats and you're happy about her pregnancy? What the hell?

I cried for at least an hour and a half.  My stomach started cramping, but I didn't pay any attention to it. Dr. Alan came in to check on me while I was crying. I calmed down enough for him to check my vitals and all that doctory stuff. 

"What's wrong?", Alan asked as he was taking my blood pressure. 

"Nothing, nothing. I'm fine.", I winced as I spoke. My cramp was getting worse every minute, but I ignored it. It's just my period. Something in which Monsé doesn't have. I told myself mentally not to be rude to Monsé. Even when she wasn't there. 

"Seriously, you're wincing. Is it your stomach?"

"Mainly my heart, but that too.", I said in a 'not-a-big-deal' kinda way. 

"Josie! Why didn't you tell me? How long has this been going on?", Dr. Alan said, suddenly alarmed.

"Since Monsé told me she was pregnant."

"When was this?"

"This morning. Around, like, 7:30. It's not that big of a deal. I'm probably about to get my period or something"

"Josie," he said cautiously, "I think you need to get an x-ray."

"Why? I'm completely fine. It's just heartbreak cramps.", I argued nonchalantly. "It's not like I'm going to die.", I said in a crude humour tone only slightly laughing.

Dr. Alan gave me a look that said to get my shit together or else. I stopped laughing, and he started talking again.

"I understand you're going through some tough things in your life, but you're not going to have a life if you don't start taking this seriously. I'm going to have you do an x-ray here in about 45 minutes, ok?", he asked though I knew it was more a statement than an actual question. 

"Ok", I replied reluctantly. 

Forty-seven minutes later: 

I stood in front of a huge black and white picture in my hospital gown. The x-ray had taken about a minute, and as soon as Alan saw the results he called my mom. She was on speaker, so I could hear her sobbing. He hung up and walked toward me. 

"Josalyn", he started.

"Josi-", I started correcting but got interrupted. 

"Josalyn," he said more firmly. "The tumour has gotten about 2 times bigger than it originally was. You're going to need surgery."

"W-what?", was the last thing to come out of my mouth before I collapsed on the floor sobbing.

A/N 

I'm sorry to all the medical nerds out there who found some medical errors in the writing. I know nothing about tumours, but feel free to let me know actual terms and real-life procedures. Thank you!