It's Love - Namjoon X Reader

Long Nights

Lights, flashing lights. The sound of people laughing, talking, flirting. The scent of old beer mixed with sweat hovering in the air as people danced with one another to the music. Loud music that I too would sway my body in time with. Moments like these are always the same yet different. New faces each and every night yet they all want one thing. To feel alive. I mean that's why I go to the club every night, it's to feel alive. 

I find myself out quite late, dressed up in short skirts and heels that make my ankles want to break. It's not that I need them, I'm quite tall already however they make me seem more vulnerable I guess. A man is more likely to approach a girl wearing heels, that is what I've come to learn so that's why I wear them. 

I want to be approached. 

I want to be noticed and tonight was no different. 

It was my third night in a row not that I'm keeping count. I was in the back, seated at the bar. A glass in one hand as the other played with a few strands of hair that had fallen from my pony tail. I was speaking to a guy. His eyes were a shade of dark blue that matched the colour of the skirt I wore and his hair was dyed dirty blonde. The shirt he wore seemed to be a size too small as his muscles were fighting against the seams, not that I'm complaining, it was kinda hot. I had been speaking to him most of the night. He kept offering drinks, I could tell he wanted me drunk, it makes things easier for the both of us. However did I know his name? No. Did I know his age? No. Did I care about what he did for a living? No. Did I want him? Yes. 

He was mine tonight. Don't get me wrong though, yesterday the guy I was with had dark hair and black eyes, his glasses were cute. The night before the last was someone different, he was a foreigner interested to know what sex was like with a girl like me, I didn't disappoint.  

Tomorrow night it will be someone new and the next someone else, thus the cycle continues. I know, I know what I'm doing is wrong. I'm just lonely I think.  

A small laugh had left my mouth as he had made a joke, it wasn't funny though, I just want him to believe it was. I shifted my eyes a little, honestly I wasn't in the mood tonight but stopping didn't feel like an option. 

I felt his hand move up the side of my leg as he begun to move in closer. I knew what was coming, so I closed my eyes and did the same. We kissed, however that's all we did. I mean it did turn into a heated make out session in the alleyway behind the bar, but that's all it was. He wanted to take me home but I refused, I was feeling some self respect for myself tonight so instead I went home.

I walked down a secluded street. My heels clicking against the concrete as I failed to walk straight, one foot almost tripping over the other. One street light illuminates the ground and the houses around me. It's quiet, nothing is moving but me. It feels as though I'm the only one left in the world. As such I'm able to clear my mind and think straight. There are times when cars tend to pass through or when people leave and enter their homes but tonight it's too late for such occurrences to happen.

I always take this route home, no matter how drunk, sober, happy, sad or whatever I'm doing that day, I always take this road home.  I'm not sure why, I just do. It's strange, yes I know that. It's that I feel safe and like it's apart of me in some way. The cracked pathways, old houses that seem to be falling apart and the leaves that grow up of fences. It may look to be cold and scary but if you keep moving forward their lies a pond full of colourful fish that is surrounded by beautiful trees. It's in the middle of a children's playground, I walk passed it each and every night, sometimes during the day as well when I head to and from work. 

I love looking at it, watching the fish swim around and ripple the water. I may sit on the swings sometimes and watch as my heels hit the ground as I move forwards and backwards. A lot of people don't know this place exists but I guess that's why I love it.

This is why this street reminds me of myself. Although it may seem broken and cold, if you look hard enough their are things worth looking at, things that make you smile. 

I continue to walk, although it feels as though someone is watching my brain is too clouded to be bothered by it. 

~Moments Earlier~ 

The tapping of the keyboard followed by a large sigh was what the room consisted of. Namjoon sat slouched in his chair, he had been like this for hours now. This small room had become his place of privacy and work, but as to be expected it was lonely. He was lonely.  

He and the other boys had just arrived back from America. Although they loved it there, Seoul will still and always be their home. However the work never stopped, no breaks, no rest, he just wanted to work. 

The clocked ticked 2am.  

As another breathe had left his mouth he rose from his chair, the bones in his back cracking as he does so. He looked at the monitor and could faintly make out his reflection. All he could focus on was the dark circles that just seem to never disappear as well as the dimples appearing in the sides of his cheeks. He was a mess but not completely, it was the only way he could describe it, as such he could've looked much worse. 

Although he looked it, he wasn't tired. A yawn hadn't left his mouth once nor did he feel as though his eyes were going to shut due to the jet lag. 

"Ah, what should I do?" He asked quietly under his breathe. He was speaking to himself as there was no one to answer him. The boys had all found themselves in their rooms sound asleep the moment they had arrived home, well everyone but Hoseok. He had wanted to visit his family for a few days so he didn't bother to unpack and left. I don't blame him though, we all miss our families, the dorm just seems quiet without him. I don't know why I feel so down about it, it's not like he's gone forever. 

Quickly Namjoon turned the lights off in his studio and moved quietly into the kitchen trying his best not to make a sound, this feeling all but familiar. 

He wasn't tired, that was clear. He knew that lying in bed wasn't going to make him fall asleep so he slipped on his shoes and threw on a hoodie and left the dorm without a sound. 

The night was cold as the air bit the sides of his neck sending shivers down his back. The road he walked on was unfamiliar. It seemed empty but that's because the world was asleep, he simply lived the opposite way. 

However his silence was quickly interrupted when he notice a figure moving in the distance. At first it seemed like nothing, maybe it was his mind playing tricks on him, or the darkness portraying something strange. That quickly changed when he moved closer to the figure, it was indeed a girl. A drunk girl, but she seemed aware. 

He stayed back and admired her from a far. Her hair must be long because even though it was tied in a pony tail it still fell bellow her shoulders. She was tall, very tall, her legs were long and her torso was short. She was wearing a skirt and a black top that stopped just above the seam of her skirt so every now and again he would catch glimpses of the skin that lied underneath. Her cheeks were cute and her eyes were dark. She was bent over looking at something, it looked to be a pond or something similar to it. None the less she was beautiful but why would such a girl be out at a time like this. These thoughts lingered in Namjoon's mind so much he couldn't look away. He wanted to talk to her to please his curiosity but instead he simply walked the other way, back to the place he came from. 

I continue to walk, although my feet are sore from the heels I still don't take them off. Suddenly my phone drops as it had been strapped to my wrist. It hits the ground hard causing my mind to turn to chaos. As I go to pick it up I notice a man walking away. Was he there the entire time? I can't help but think he was looking at me. 

Quickly as I rise from the ground the thoughts quickly leave my mind as fast as they appeared and I go home.

The night once again is over. 

~Authors Notes~

It feels so good to be writing again 💜💜