It's Love - Namjoon X Reader

It Was Fear

"Hey Y/n. Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer if you don't want to though" Tae's voice continued to sound deep within my ear's as we walked together, however in the span of a few second's he had begun to sound timid, shy even. It was cute quite honestly, but the atmosphere made my stomach turn.

"Yeah, sure. Go ahead" 

With a large exhale, Tae begins to speak, his eyes turning towards me intently. "When you were growing up, why didn't you reach out for help?" 

A simple question, yet it's so hard to answer. I mean, I've never been asked anything about my family situation as those who know of it, usually turn away. Too much to handle usually as my past teacher's would say. 

 "I mean... It's not like I didn't want to, but before I could even get to that step, most people who knew of the family I came from just didn't want to bother. My mum had a reputation of causing inconveniences I guess. If even the smallest detail was out of place, she would know, thus causing much hatred projected never at her, but around her, mainly because other's were afraid about what she would do to them. However, once I come into the picture and obviously refused her advances, it became clear that people didn't want to get involved in the drama of it, so I didn't even bother" I breathe for a second, and I look at Tae once more, whose eyes don't move away from me once. There was kindness in them and it was freeing. "It was fear. Fear of what would happen if other's were to get involved. I guess that's why I never told you or the other's" 

I smile slightly as the realisation appears in my mind. 

It was fear holding me back.

"It was fear Tae" I say once more. As I turn towards him, his kindness that I was gripping onto turned into sadness as I notice the tears that begin to gently fall down his face.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry" I say, as the heat begins to disappear from my body. "I shouldn't have said anything" 

"No. I'm glad you did. I'm crying because I don't understand how anybody couldn't be bothered to help such an amazing girl like you, fear or what not shouldn't be blamed for ignoring someone who is obviously going through abuse." He has such a fire in his voice that burns away the doubt that had begun to grow. 

"Y/n, we care about you and always will, okay?"  

"Okay" We both smile together, my mouth so wide that it begins to hurt. 

"Come on, let me take you home. It's getting late" 

As Tae and I stand in front of my apartment, I thank him again for the time he has spent with me. Baggage I had been holding onto for a long time had been released and even if it's only a little, it's a start. However, anxiety was still very much present within my system when Tae mentions about what is to come next.

He sways back and forth on his tippy toes, accentuating on how much taller than me he actually is. 

"I know you probably aren't ready for this but, Jin want's to meet with you.... Tonight" 

"T-tonight?" I stutter.

"Yeah... I know, he's probably the last person you want to see, but he really want's to see you Y/n. The man he was that day wasn't the Jin I know. Please, give him another chance, he deserve's it" 

He sounded almost desperate in a way. I could see he really wanted me to meet with Jin, it's just, I was kinda scared of him. That as soon as I step foot in front of him, he was going to shut me down again. None the less, no matter what I felt, I wasn't going to refuse his invitation because who would I be if I did.