because of you

part four- "the driveway"

JOHNNYS POV

"mackenzie i'm really sorry." i say while driving us home "i shouldn't have snapped at you like that i just want to make sure your safe mackenzie."

"i get it. i'm a charity case. you're scared that whatever you say at any second i'll snap" she says tears forming in her eyes

"it's not like that. i was just scared that what i said was too harsh and i didn't mean it." i say as she turns away staring out into the sky.

i silence fills the car that night at 12:47 pm on a friday and a content smile appears on my face. i watch the light rain drops fall onto the car window shield. i watched the lights from the passing cars reflect the water falling from the sky as it hit the wet concrete. i watched my knuckles grip the wheel a little bit tighter every time water would make my tires slip just the tiniest bit. i watched how every time the rain would jerk the car mackenzie would slightly gasp and sink lower into the leather seats.

after the seemingly long car drive home we pull into my driveway. i turn off the car beginning to exit when mackenzie touches my arm to pull me back inside.

"sorry." she says and hesitantly pulls her hand off my arm. "it's ok." i whisper laugh.

"look i probably owe you an explanation." she starts "about what?" "everything"

"i didn't used to be a bad kid. i was a really really good kid actually. me and my mom were closer than close. my dad was always pretty distant but he still was a part of our lives. my mom and i would do everything together. she was my rock. she was my best friend. but one day things started to change. she would pick me up from school with bruises and black eyes. she tried to cover them up but i saw right through the makeup and sunglasses. i would continually ask her what happened but she would just shoo me off saying not to worry about it. then one day about a year ago i came home from my best friends house and saw my dad hitting my mom. i was so scared and i had no idea what to do. so i just stood there like an idiot. before i knew it he pulled out a gun. i screamed so loud but it didn't stop him. he pulled the trigger and i watched my mother's lifeless body drop to the floor. then i made straight eye contact with my father before he pulled the trigger again killing him self. it's crazy how you can go from having everything to having nothing so fast. the worst part is that it's all my fault. i could've stopped it. but instead i just stood there like a wussy. i'm so dumb. if only i had manned up and intervened i would have still had my mom. it's all my fault."

i sit there in shock listening to her tell her story and when she finally finishes i pull her into a tight hug.

"i'm so so sorry i had no idea but listen to me it's not your fault mackenzie. it's most definitely not your fault at all. you can't control the darkness inside of someone. don't blame yourself for your dads mistakes. ok?" i say pulling out of the hug she nods tears spilling off her face.

"a-and i-t gets even worse." she chokes in between cries "a few days after i was driving my best friend emily home and i was crying in the car. i was so upset and she was comforting me about everything and somehow i didn't see a truck coming because i was so distraught and i tried to swerve. but it was too late. the truck hit us in full impact breaking both my arms and fracturing my spine. a-and as for emily. s-she was paralyzed from her neck down a- i- well- i was never able to see her again because her parents were scared i was going to get her killed. i swore to my leaf from that day on i would never ever drive again. and i haven't. but i have nothing johnny. no family no friends and everyone who tries to get close with me i push them away. i hate myself. i hate my life." she sobs.

my heart aches for her. no one should have to go through this much pain and loss. especially not at such a young age.

"mackenzie." i start and try to scramble and find the right words to say "for what you have been through, you are the strongest girl i have ever met. don't let your past mistakes dictate your future. you are an amazing girl inside and out and even if you don't show it all the time, you still have a heart three times the size as most of the people i have ever met. and when it feels like you have no one in this world. just remember, that u have me" she cracks a smile and nods.

it was amazing seeing her smile. even if it was small and short. it still made me so happy to see her happy.

the rest of the night was filled with talking, sharing stories, mackenzie allowing me to call her kenzie, and even her smiling from time to time.

we talked

sofie speaks
short but deep chapter for y'all
i really am relating to a lot of the things in this chapter but in a different way
life is difficult rn but this book is a great way to put my emotions in words

vote and comment