I'll Help

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"I'll help," I said as I walked into the room and wiped the remaining tears off my face.

I wanted to fight and I wanted to bring my mom home. Nothing could stop me. The rage that filled me was too hard to beat. The fact that Nixie hated me or the fact that Arvo became a traitor didn't hurt me as much as this did. Both of those things hurt me tremendously but it was nothing compared to losing my mom.

She was there for me when almost everyone else abandoned me. She defended me when I was too young to defend myself. She always made sure the negativity didn't affect me when I was younger.

She always made sure that I had an amazing Christmas but couldn't do that for her and it hurt

She was all I wanted this Christmas but she turned out to be the most important thing I lost.

I wanted to win. I wanted to learn. I wanted to gather and I wanted to create because if what I created made a difference all the things I've lost just in this day wouldn't hurt as much.

"why a sudden change of heart," said the short-haired woman "My name is Basil by the way" she had put on a face that seemed like she was very concerned for me but I had been so numb I couldn't tell if it was truly genuine.

"you know well die right," Tillia said with on eyebrow raised.

"We won't die," Deena said. I had noticed earlier that Deena had seemed really hurt over my decision so the fact that I had changed my mind led her to say something "Maybe you don't understand because your not a human but I am I have family here friends here I'm not willing to lose anyone"

"especially to them" I added " if they take over this world everything we have will be gone. Tillia you should know what I'm talking about the pain, the torture and the fact that they will suck every ounce of magic from you even if you don't do anything imagine what they'll do to this world"

I knew I was right. I had all the proof right in front of me. I had the proof in my pain and I had the proof in my loss.

"they do that to guilty people in jail Erina!!" she said

I would say this was my breaking point but I had already been broken. My mother wasn't guilty of anything. She was wrong and I couldn't let her say that. No matter how close we were.

She thought she had known everything but of course, that wasn't the case. The case was that those faeries will take innocent beings and ruin them in how many different ways. It confused me that she couldn't see that. She was the one who opened my eyes about the severity of how they treat others and now she just wants to pretend that that never happened. No. 

"do you think my mother is guilty huh huh!" I yelled with every ounce of anger I had in my body. I fell to the floor as I continued yelling "do you? Do you? She guilty"

I felt Noen's arms wrap around me as I cried. He didn't say anything. He knew there was nothing he could say so instead all he did was pat my back and wipe my tears but that didn't make any difference. It didn't stop the pain in my heart.

"what are you even talking about," she said as she crossed her legs

"my mom's in jail because I left," I said as I picked my head up from my hands.

Tillia's face immediately changed as I left this information out.

"no-no," Deena said in despair. Tears began to fall down her face. I wondered how she felt. She grew up with my mother but know she was gone. All I wanted was for her not to blame my I don't know if I could handle the blame.

Everly had never known her mother so she just sat there with no emotion on her face. That how she looked ever since she got here. I didn't know what happened but I'm sure she was feeling pretty empty

Noen wrapped his arms around me tighter. He knew what they would do to her. Ever since I and him became best friends she's always had his back and cared for him when he needed it. She cared for everyone when they needed it. That's why she didn't deserve it. That's why I was going to help her mom matter what.

I didn't care if I wasn't strong enough. I didn't care if I wasn't the best at spells and I didn't care if I wasn't the best warrior. I was going to learn. For her.

"so will all of your help," Basil asked

Everyone said yes. How could they say no I was hurt on the floor having my third mental breakdown of the day. All I wanted was I nice quiet shower and an opportunity to finally be happy.

All I wanted was to be happy. I wish things were simpler. I wished I could go back and find a way to say goodbye to my mom. I wished Nixie wouldn't have hated me if she didn't hate me she wouldn't have joined the faeries I knew it.

It was too late. It was too late for any of those things. It hurt me to say it but it was true. I couldn't go back. I couldn't fix my mistakes so I might as well fight.

"you'll need a leader," Basil said as she got up from her seat and began examining us

I didn't want to be the leader. That would mean I would be responsible for all these life's I wasn't strong enough for that it was obvious I'm literally unstable in every kind of way

"Erina you're the leader"

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