The World is Ugly, But You're Beautiful to Me. (Frerard)

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Note: Welp I'm gonna be making a kinda offensive chapter beginning since I feel like it at the moment, so if anyone too sensitive is reading, IT'S JUST EXAGGERATION AND JOKES. But even if you do complain ily for reading this far in the first place c: ok Dubai.

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I don't know why I feel like always slamming my head against a brick wall...

Oh wait yeah I do because I MOST LIKELY AM THE MOST UNLUCKY BASTARD EVER BORN.

Okay, okay. I'm not the most unlucky, I could name 5 other types of people less fortunate (Jews, starving African children, Catholics back in biblical times, lepers, the coyote in those roadrunner cartoons), but fuck, I just don't think God likes me. My theory is that he knows I'm questioning his existence and he likes to push me a bit over the edge so I'll turn to him, which is pretty close to what I'm doing.

Well I guess news spread fast about mine, Gerard's, and Derek's "fight" ( I say "fight" because it was pretty much just me trying to get Gerard to not kill Derek). Anyways, now there's a rumor that me and Gerard are dating due to him and I both being openly gay (well I say I'm pansexual but then people ask me if I'd hump a tree if I liked it's personality, so yeah let's just go with gay).

I don't think I'd be so mad about it if I wasn't in the middle of trying to deny my sorta feelings for Gerard, but hearing kissing songs with mine and Gerard's names in it all day just made me believe I was even more of a lost cause when dealing with being lucky.

After school, I sat in my eighth period for at least 10 minutes after so I could make sure everyone was cleared from the hall. Then, I reluctantly made my way towards the detention room, where Ms. Reynolds and Gerard sat; one of them looking like she couldn't give a crap I was there and the other seemed like he had a lot to tell me once I walked into the room, but both of them looking extremely annoyed that they had to be there.

"Oh wow, Mr. Iero and Mr. Way in detention together again! How did I not see this coming?" Ms. Reynolds spoke rudely.

"Oh wow, Ms. Reynolds saying something bitchy right when I walk in! How did I not see this coming?" I exclaimed, mocking her rude tone. She stood from her seat, staring daggers at me.

"Iero, do you want a whole week in detention?" She asked as if I had a choice in the matter.

"Well, I'd prefer not, but if that helps you sleep at night, then do whatever the hell you need to". She gasped, surprised I'd speak back after her threat.

"Just take your seat, Iero, before I call your mother!" She said, and I didn't want to cause my mom any more stress. I bitterly swung into the chair closest to me, peeking back at Gerard, who watched mine and Ms. Reynolds bickering with amusement. As he saw me look at him, a look of total regret and sincerity washed over his face, and he seemed to want to say something, but I quickly turned away before he could. I didn't want him to charm me with his words like last time, I already made the decision to push him away from me.

"I need to print copies for tomorrow, so you two brats better behave. I'll be back before 4:30" Ms. Reynolds told us, walking out. Right when she left, awkwardness spread through the whole room. I was afraid to look back at Gerard in fear he's already staring at me, I didn't want to look straight into his alluring eyes.

"That was quite a thing you just said to Ms. Reynolds, think only you have the guts to say something like that to her" Gerard spoke, and I had to fight with everything I had not to look back.

"Probably" I said quietly, scared to show how nervous I was around him. Another wave of silence spread through the room, but Gerard broke it again.

"I'm really sorry for yesterday, I shouldn't have kissed you, I shouldn't have said it was my reward, I should've just quickly cleaned you up and let you go home without anything else. I barely slept because I couldn't stop feeling guilty about making you upset."

I started hurting when I thought about Gerard staying up because of someone as useless as me. "It's fine, I didn't die or anything" I replied, holding back my emotions.

"Can we go back to, I don't know, hanging out?" Gerard asked, and I wanted to cry for some reason.

"...I don't want to hang out with you Gerard" I whispered, but loud enough for him to hear me. I closed my eyes shut tight to fight the urge to look back at him. All I heard was an "oh" from him.

"I mean, it's not just you, I don't want to hang out with anyone anymore. I bet you've noticed how much of a mess I am, and I don't want to become more of a mess by being hurt by you or any other person I come in contact with. In fact, I'm scared shitless by the idea of being broken and having to pick myself up again".

After I spoke, I heard Gerard stand up from behind me. He walked over to me and sat in the chair in front of mine, turning around to face me. I pretended I wasn't nervous as hell by sketching on the desk with my pencil.

"...Y'know, I think you're kind of oblivious with what you just said" Gerard stated, surprising me.

"Excuse me?" I said, a bit taken aback.

"I'm just saying, in life you'll experience hundreds of people that'll hurt you in some way, and some of them may hurt you enough to break you, but you gotta break in order to see you're strong enough to build yourself up again. It's idiotic to think you shouldn't become close to anyone else because you're scared of falling apart. You have to live, with your mistake and also with your achievements."

I looked at him surprised, and then a bit annoyed by how he stated that like he knew all the answers to my problems. "Well, what if breaking has the opposite effect on you? What if it's not you being able to experience and become stronger, but instead, it's taking away the strength you had before, and every time you have to build yourself up again you forget a piece of yourself. What if those pieces you miss along the way while picking yourself up are vital to your survival? What if you lose your self confidence? Your hope? Your capacity to trust? Huh?! Does your amazing, psychological mind take that into consideration?" I yelled at him, taking my anger out on him. By the time I realized I was crying, it was too late since there were too many tears and emotions to handle.

"Frank.." Gerard whispered, getting up and hugging me. I sniffled into his shoulder, feeling pissed at myself for taking everything out on him considering how much he's helped me these past few days.

"I'm sorry, ...I'm sorry, I'm really sorry" I kept repeating, still trying to dry my eyes. He hushed me, and we just sort of sat there, him comforting me like a mother.

"...I don't know if this'll mean anything to you, especially since we've known each other for only a short time and it seems you have trouble trusting what others say, but I promise I won't leave you for no reason, and I promise I'll be here if you need me" Gerard told me, a dazzling look forming on his face. I wiped off my tears, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"That's not something you laugh at, you douche!" He said, giving me a noogie.

"I'm sorry, it's just, that's something I never expected to hear from you, especially since you're dressed like a biker right now" I told him honestly, smiling softly. He seemed to brighten up when he saw I was calm again. I guess even though I didn't want to, I was charmed by Gerard's words all over again.

"Okay, I'll try to trust what you say," I said, "but why do you keep trying so hard to help me?

Gerard looked a bit confused at my question, and he didn't answer me until a few minutes later.

"I think I really like you."