Confessions of Miami Hooliward.

Chapter nine:

    The convenient store was warmer than outside but she still didn't take off her hoodie. It was like a form of escapism. Nobody would want to talk to somebody who hid off their face. Nobody would ask why their eyes were puffed out or why their nose was red or if they were okay if she hid well under her hoodie.

She dragged her legs lazily along the cosmetic section checking out one label to another even though she wasn't the sort to use any of them,she still looked to buy time.

Thoughts begun to plunder her mind. Thoughts she had almost successfully blocked off by getting distracted at the different labels at the supermarket and wandering around in the streets at night.

She couldn't stop wondering why her mother had called. Was it because she wanted to finish their conversation? Apologise and promise that she would get over her obsession and focus on more worthwhile things like their mother and daughter relationship? Or was it because Mrs. Knight had told her about what had happened and so she had called to give her an earfull about misbehaving and maybe chip in an apology somewhere in between?

But why was she so obsessing over an apology if she had made up her mind to not care, not to succumb to her mother's actions and be the forever obedient and good daughter that every parent dreamed of but instead she follow her own path, live her own life and give her mother a taste of her own medicine?

Because you are made like that Mia. You are made to care about her and make her the centre of your world. You are made to think about her before yourself even if she does not reciprocate it.

She closed her eyes shortly and commanded the little voice in her head to stop saying any more to her or she would scream. She had to have a bit of understanding  towards her mother and twisted behaviour. She had become a single mother at a young age,she wasn't connected to her family and hardly spoke about any of them at all even if she asked. Must be because of her  being pregnant at a young age and without a man in hand and all the complications that came with that.

That does not excuse her Mia. See,this is why she keeps doing this to you. Because you always try to reason out for her actions and make her look like the victim and you as the one to bare with it all for her sake. What happened to her has nothing to do with you. You did not purposely walk into her life and  make her miserable.

Truth be told her mother didn't say it but she more than often displayed it in her actions that Mia was a big reminder of her misery and pain. She wasn't vocally abusive or physically either. She has never been the type to hit her or anyhow directly abuse her with her words. But her actions more than shouted how she felt for her.

"If she had a choice she would trade me for a new knitting set." She said dryly to herself.

If she was such a pain in the ass,why did she still keep her. She had more than many chances to walk out on her but she did not. She could have aborted her,dumped her at somebody else's doorstep, give her up for adoption and the list could go on..so why did she still raise her?

Why did she still bother with her?

She looked around at the empty store and an idea came to mind. She had to make one last attempt to be sure of what she would decide next.

She looked left and right. Walked around suspiciously until she was sure nobody was there and headed back to the cosmetic section and begun stuffing things in her jeans pocket,hoodie pocket and stuck some under her bra. She took powders of different shades. Like three. Then she took eyeliners and stuck them in her jeans pocket. They were thin and not easy to detect. Next she grabbed some lotion in mini containers and put it in the left section of her bra and fixed her composure so she would not look suspicious.