The Stolen Mind

Chapter 16

                No matter how long I shut my eyes, my body refused to sleep. Hours and hours passed and I just hung there. The annoyance of the bright lights made me regret being thankful for them being on this time. The worst nuisance, obviously, was the chains around my wrist, holding me off the ground. At this point, I couldn't feel my arms, everything was numb. In the beginning, my arms slowly started to feel heavier and heavier until all feeling was gone. Goosebumps covered my exposed skin, making me regret ever getting into this stupid dress. I knew the night would end up badly for me. Then again, at least I got a decent meal out of it. That probably won't be happening again any time soon.

                The continuous hours of being alone gave me plenty of time to reflect on my life. Maybe it was the fear that I could die at any moment or the solitude and lack of sleep was getting to me. There was so much I didn't do before I was kidnapped. Fear of stupid things ruled my life. I always wanted a dog since I moved out but was worried about the responsibility that came with it. My parents were allergic so I never had one growing up but all my friends did. If I ever got out of here, I was getting myself a dog. There were so many breeds, I wasn't sure which one I wanted. I laughed to myself. I had plenty of time to decide that. Then I realized I probably wouldn't even get out of here to buy one. Stupid dreams of something that would never happen. Look at where I was right now. Chained up. A prisoner. There was no escaping this.

                Self-pity started to consume me. It was still unclear why this had to happen to me. Out of all the people in the world, it had to be me? You never think something like this will happen to you until it happens. And trust me, it's a rude fucking awaking when it happens. I was a normal girl who was trying to start her life. If I never worked at that stupid restaurant then maybe Jax would have never saw me. I should have noticed someone stalking me for five months. How did this happen?

                Anger was the next to urge its way through. I was angry at God, who I wasn't even sure existed at this point in my life. So much for a wonderful plan for me. I really appreciate this. Good people aren't supposed to have horrendous things happen to them. I tried to be a good person. Why didn't I notice Jax following me? Was I just stupid and naïve? Where there any red flags that I didn't notice? It was possible that Jax was really good at what he did and stayed in the shadows. Even if that was the case, why did the world have psychopaths like Jax? There is no legit excuse for a human to do this to another person. I wanted him dead. I wanted to actually kill him. He took everything away from me. My home. My family. My friends. My change at a life. My virginity. My sanity. My dignity. Almost 8 months of my life was out of the drain. And the worst part was that he was most likely going to take away the biggest thing from me. My life.

              I'd do anything to get my life back. I didn't want to die. There were times over the past seven months that I thought about dying. Then I realized I didn't go through hell just to die. That couldn't be the case. I had to keep fighting. I wanted to see my home again. I wanted to feel the warmth of my mother's hugs. Hear contagious laughter of my little sister. See my dad's ridiculous outfit choices and having my mother tell him to go change. I wanted my best friend to come over to my apartment so we could stay up all night watching movies and eating junk food. I wanted the stress of nursing school back. It was a pain and I complained about it but I'd do anything to have that bad right now.

               I didn't want to have to worry when my next meal was or what form of torture I was about to receive. I didn't want to fear for my life every second of every day. I wanted to snuggle up on the couch or lay in bed all day. I wanted to have a real boyfriend who cherished me and respected me, not abused me. Thinking about life was depressing. I hadn't realized that I was crying until I thought about everything. Warm tears stained my face, the reality of my life hitting me hard. I needed to be strong right now. I couldn't have Jax see me like this. I tried my best to wipe my tears on my arm but that proved fairly hard to do chained up. I took several deep breaths to try and calm myself down. Isolation was going to drive me actually crazy. A smile appeared on my face as I thought about me ending up back with Dr. Daring. Girl was falsely imprisoned in a psychiatric facility only later in life to end up back there.