The Stolen Mind

Chapter 19

               My mind wouldn't stop thinking about Ashton. He wasn't the guy I thought he was. He was a new person, someone I barely recognized. I remained quiet for a while, giving short responses to Kennedy's attempts at distracting me. There was a knot in my stomach, making breathing seem impossible. I'd occasionally touch my cheek, reminding myself what Ashton did to me. I knew he had killed people before but to hurt me, that I never thought he'd do.

               Hours passed and I could feel myself getting more depressed. If only I could run away and never look back on this horror. This was a crashing ship and there was no escaping it. Ashton wasn't going to help me. He never cared about me. The small infrequent meals kept me weak and constantly fighting my own mind. After the fancy dinner Jax made for us, the meals became less luxurious. It was as if he was teasing me with an amazing meal only to make me starve for days after. No one could live on one sandwich a day or a few crackers and water. Sometimes nothing at all.

             The night passed by agonizingly slow. I stared up at the ceiling, wishing the lights would turn off. I wasn't even sure if it was nighttime but judging by my constant yawning, I had to guess it was time to sleep. That wouldn't happen though. A million thoughts rushed around my mind, preventing sleep from occurring. My eyes would start to shut but then I would jerk awake, fearing that I heard the door open. Kennedy slept silently which surprised me. How could she easily do that? I envied her. If only I could relax enough to sleep properly. Usually, when I slept it was because I was emotionally or physically exhausted and I couldn't fight it any longer. I got to my feed and paced back and forth, trying to tire myself out or possibly distract myself. The dragging of my chain scrapped against the floor, making it impossible to forget what was happening to me. Hours later, I finally laid back down on the cold ground and closed my eyes. I wouldn't sleep long but something was better than nothing.

              When my eyes opened again, Kennedy was still sleeping, letting me know I didn't sleep for very long. I sat up and leaned against the wall. My stomach growled loudly but I ignored it. I wish I could see myself right now. I had to look terrible. Surely, there was a large bruise on my cheek from Ashton hitting me. Bags under my eyes and of course, they had to be bloodshot from the lack of sleep I was getting. I just wondered when my body would give up and start shutting down. I looked over at Kennedy but looked away when I realized it was creepy to watch her sleep. Then again, I felt the urge to protect her. Jax truly wanted to torture me, not her. A few minutes Kennedy woke up, no longer making me feel alone.

              "How are you doing?" I asked, already knowing the answer but it was nice to talk to someone, even if we were both in this terrible situation.

               "My back is killing me." She grumbled, rubbing her eyes.

                "Yeah, you get used to that, unfortunately." I replied, staring at the ground.

                "So that Ashton guy, is he someone we should worry about?" She asked.

                Part of me was angry that she was talking about him. This was the first time I'd stopped thinking about him and she goes and brings him up. Then again, I could see why she'd be concerned. She saw how shut down and isolated I became after his visit. She saw him slap me. She knows he's working with Jax, so it is a valid question. I just don't want to talk about him.

             "I don't know." I shrugged.

               Judging by the look on her face, I didn't answer the question to her liking. She was smart not to push the subject and I was thankful for that. We both were silent for several minutes before the door unlocked. I sucked in a deep breath, trying to prepare myself for whoever entered the room. I shot a look over to Kennedy, reminding her to be quiet. I would handle whatever was going to happen. Jax walked into the room, alone. Ashton was nowhere to be seen and I wasn't going to ask where he was at. I shouldn't care, especially after he betrayed me.