The Stolen Mind

Chapter 26

              Nearly two months have passed since I escaped. Everything has been quiet which is oddly suspicious. The police have been looking nonstop for Jax, but he seems to have fallen off the face of the Earth. I prayed that maybe he died somewhere, and no one has found the body, but I couldn't ever be sure until his body was found. I've had police protection this whole time, which is becoming tiring, but I know it's necessary. I'd really be freaking out if they weren't close by. Even with them around, I still find myself jumping at darkened shadows and always looking over my shoulder. The thought of Jax being out there, ready to strike at any moment terrifies me.

            I decided to stay in my apartment, wanting something that was familiar and trying desperately to get back to life before I was kidnapped. Jax knew where my apartment and my families' house were located so it didn't really matter where I lived, I was always at risk. It was probably stupid of me to want to be away from my family after I just got them back, but I needed normal. I wanted my old life back, even if that meant living in my apartment away from them. Between my sister and Rachael spending the night with me, I was rarely home alone anyway.

           I've been busy the past few months on healing from everything. I'm going to therapy at least once a week, sometimes more if I have a rough day. The nightmares still occur almost every night, making sleeping a dreadful and failed process. I usually have to take several sleeping pills to actually get a decent amount of rest at night. It's a work in progress trying to recover from such a horrific trauma. I decided to take another semester off from school to get my life back in order. I was trying to find a way to push on every day without the feeling of wanting to crumble to the ground.

           Physically, my body has healed fairly well. There's a discolored scar of Jax's name on my chest, but it was more faded than I had expected it would. Most of my bruises were gone and for the most part, I looked like a normal girl again. Most people looking at me wouldn't know what I have been through. I avoided wearing tank tops or low-cut shirts that would show Jax's name on my chest. Whenever I went swimming, I'd wear a dark t-shirt to make sure I was covered. My back still had scars on it from being beat, so it was just a good idea to stay covered.

           Accepting Ashton's death was getting somewhat easier as days passed but still hurt. Sure, I would never know who he really was, but I owed him my life. His body was being cremated in a week after all the evidence the police needed off of his body was taken. The police agreed to release his remains to me since he had no living family. I would have my own funeral for him and maybe that would help me let go and move on.

           Another way of easing my mind is the self-defense classes I've been taking every week. Just in case something was to happen, I'd be better prepared than I was before. I've learned my lesson and don't walk around at night alone. I'm more aware of my surroundings than I ever had been before. Despite the police's protest, I bought a gun to use as protect. I learned how to use it and if I ever saw Jax again, I would protect myself. As much as I wanted him dead, I really didn't want to be the one to do it. It was safer for me to have a gun in the house. Jax was plotting my death so I needed to be prepared for whenever he planned on striking. I knew the police couldn't be my personal protection for much longer, so I had to think of the future.

           After I escaped, I did tell Kennedy's parents her final words that she instructed me to tell them. I didn't go into detail on her death and I think her parents appreciated it. No one wanted to hear the gruesome details of their daughter's death. The police found Kennedy's body along with several other female bodies buried on Jax's property. It was heartbreaking but at least those families would finally get closure.

             I was on my way home from the store because I needed to get dog food and some other groceries. I told myself if I ever escaped, I'd get a dog for myself. So that's exactly what I did. I got a new golden retriever puppy who has been the light in the darkness that has a tendency to consume me. He keeps me company and makes me feel safer having him around. Cooper was a crazy puppy who really needed training, but I just hadn't gotten around to it. Yesterday he managed to go in the bathroom and unwind a whole roll of toilet paper. The day before that, he was running around and smashed right into a fake plant I had for decoration, shattering the whole pot it was in. My apartment needed puppy proofed which honestly, should have been done before I got him but that's not the point.