Refreshed with Regrets

68: December 24th, 2017

"Still not in the mood?" Colson grunted, removing his hand from up my shirt.

"We've been up all night. Now I'm really tired," I told him and he sighed.

"You're such a tease," he told me before pecking my lips. "Goodnight, baby." He went to kiss me again but I turned my head and he frowned, furrowing his eyebrows. "Olivia."

"No, if you kiss me you're just going to try to turn me on enough to do it," I said, forcing out a nervous chuckle. The truth is every night I'm dreaming of sex with Zac. And it's recurring. Until it goes away I don't know how I'm supposed to have sex with my actual boyfriend without thinking about Zac or comparing it to my dream with Zac.

"So Casie and I have this tradition that we open one present on Christmas Eve. Well, I give her a tiny gift and she gives me a cute hand made card. I was wondering if I could give you something too."

"What? You got me more than one gift?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. I was shocked and amazed. He really was too sweet. And I was missing all that during this time apart.

"Yes," he smiled.

"Oh, my god. What is it?" I gasped excitedly now.

"You want it now? It's barely Christmas Eve—"

"Yes. Now. I want it now," I grinned.

Colson chuckled and got up to grab something from his dresser. "Okay. I don't know if I should give you this or your other gift," he said.

"Save the best for last," I told him and he turned back to raise an eyebrow at me. "What?"

He smiled and shook his head. Then he shut the dresser drawer and went to his closet and grabbed a large box wrapped in a candy can printed wrapping paper. I smiled, watching him bring it over to me. He placed it on the bed in front of me and gestured for me to open it. "It's kind of big. Is this really the less extravagant gift of the two?" I asked, tearing through the paper eagerly.

"Yeah... the other is more personal. Which is why I want to give it to you tomorrow at the end of the night when we're alone," he said and the smile from my face fell slowly.

"Why? What is it?" I asked nervously.

"Just something special."

I nodded and then tore my eyes from his, my heart racing all of a sudden. I finished opening my present and just like that my worries disappeared. He got me a chartreuse record player. "Ahh! Colson! Thank you, baby!" I squealed.

I jumped off the bed and hugged him tight. I had told him like forever ago, before we were even together that I wanted one. I've always wanted one but I've never bought one cause I didn't know what vinyls I wanted and I always over thought it.

"You're welcome," he said, squeezing me tight and lifting me off the ground for a moment. He put me down and grabbed my face in his hands and frowned for a moment. "I... Baby, I really... I really love... love your smile."

I smiled weakly, wishing he would've said those three words. "Thanks," I mumbled, starting to pull away from him now.

"Baby, I... I can't wait till tomorrow."

"Me either," I said and he sighed. He pressed his forehead to mine and studied my face for a moment before his blue orbs just stared into mine.

"Are you happy with me?"

"W-What do you mean?"

"You've been acting strange and I haven't seen you in awhile. And I know we've been strained for time during this long distance stuff—"