Coming Home

Saving

My watch gave out a short pip.

4.00 am

Oh fuck it.

I hadn't got a wink of sleep yet. Too much thoughts spinning around in my head.

Do I love her? Or not? I like her. But do I love her?

I had never loved a woman. Never. But it hadn't felt that bad. It was just... new. Scary. But in a way also interesting. I felt like I was going crazy.

I pulled my blanket over my head and bit into it like I wanted to kill my thoughts with that.

I didn't know how to figure out what I felt and I didn't know how to step before her very eyes until that. Maybe I could stay at home tomorrow...

But that plan didn't work. Ben wasn't leaving as early as usual and insisted on me going to school, though I told him I had a headache.

'You have an exam today. If you don't feel better you can leave after that, but I don't want you to miss that!'

'But...'

'Nop'

He handed me my school back and pushed me out of the door.

'I can fetch you up today after school if you stay till the end.'

'Okay, I'll text you.'

I knew when I was beaten.

While I was sitting in the car taking me to school, my phone suddenly buzzed.

7.40am

Can we meet later? After school at the oak? Need to talk. Cosima

I felt my heart beat increasing. Was I ready for this? What did she want to tell me? I took a deep breath. Maybe it was better to just get it done.

7.42am

Okay. Kira.

When I arrived at school I was eager to reach my classroom before Cosima could find me. I wasn't sure what would be better: Having that talk before or after the exam. I couldn't think about it anyway.

Suddenly I heard her voice across the hall. I couldn't help but looking in the direction. And what I saw made me stop immediately. There she was, kissing with some guy. Passionately. She had a hood over her hair so I couldn't see them, but when they let go of each other for a second I definitely made out her face.