Coming Home

Dear Cosima,
I'm sorry to leave you just like that, but I know you wouldn't have wanted to let me go if I told you personally. And I don't know if I could have done it. Anyway... I know you are hurt and I know that  feeling so well. You have to move on and be whole again, and you can't do that with me being around you all the time. I'm so sorry that I can't respond your feelings, but I love you so much as a friend and that's why I had to to that. Believe me, it wasn't easy, and I'm not sure what I will do without you. But you deserve to be happy. You gave me happiness back, so it would be more than selfish not to do the same for you. Just know that I will never forget you.
Lots of love,
Kira xxx

P.S. Good luck with that twin thing - pls look after yourself!

I felt the tears running down my cheeks as I recalled the words of the letter in my head. Why was life always so incredibly hard? Why did I always have to decide these complicated things? I knew everything happens for a reason but sometimes I'd like to know what that reason was.

I feel like I'm walkin' a tightrope
My heart is in my throat
I'm counting on high hopes  to get me over you...
(Men on a wire by The Script),

I silently sang to myself while watching the clouds pass beneath me. A red shimmer lay on them as the sun slowly made it's way down the horizon. The plane shaked a bit, moving quickly into the upcoming night. I sighed and pressed my head against the cold window - only eight hours flight to go.

'Kira?? Why are you calling? Is everything okay?'
Ben's deep, comforting voice rushed nervously through my mobile phone. I couldn't help but laugh a bit.
'Don't worry, I'm... fine. Are you at home?'

It was Easter so I knew he wouldn't be in New Zealand at least for that time.
'Yes, I'm preparing dinner, Sophie wants to come over later.'
I wonder why she hasn't moved in yet... I thought ironically, though I had to admit that she was actually quite... at least okay and maybe also a bit nice as well. But I still had to make up my mind about that.
Oh stop it Kira!  My inner Ben called in my head.
Alright, alright.
'Great.'
'Do you want to talk? What's wrong, Kira, I know there is something.'
In the background something made a loud noise.
'Fuck'
It was cute that he still wanted to talk though he was obviously late with cooking and more than busy.
'Ben are you sure you have time now for...' I tried to supress the amused tone in my voice.
'Yes, sure, no problem, Kira...'
He seemed to stop whatever he was doing and took a deep breath.
'You know I have always time for you. So what...'
I pressed the door bell.
'Oh I think Sophie is here, wait a minute.'
'Ben, I'm coming back.'
I heard him reaching the door and pushing down the handle, but freezing in shock before he came to pull it fully open.
'Wait, WHAT?'
I had to remove my phone from my ear for he was screaming so loud. After a few seconds I replied:
'It didn't work out for me in America. Believe me, it's better for Cosima and for me. Also... well, it's hard to admit but I need you, Ben. I really do.'
'Wait does that mean you... you're coming home?'
He still didn't seem able to believe it. I pushed the door open. There he was, in jeans and a blue shirt, a cooking spoon in his hand.
For a while we both just stood there, staring at each other. Then tears filled his eyes and stumbling forward he closed his arms around me. Crying with both happiness and sorrow I pressed my head against his chest. 
'Yes.' I said and feeling his strong arms holding me, a sudden smile sneaked on my face.
'Yes. I'm coming home.'