Patchworked Hearts {SAMPLE}

Chapter 9

Dear Ticker Tinkerer,

I'm mad, plain and simple.

I guess I should expand on that, though . . .

I'm mad, plain and simple, because of my parents—more specifically, because of my mother and her new man. My mother and biological father (her ex-husband, now) have been divorced for approximately two weeks, and she's already toting around a new man who is half her age (only a few years older than me, in fact). She's even planning to go on a vacation with him to Europe.

So, why am I mad?

My parents met in high school and were married for thirty-one years, and my dad has always (and still does) adored my mother. He called me after my mom served him the papers, and he was practically drowning in tears and beer; he also confessed that he thought they were doing fine, and he has no clue where this divorce came from.

My mother, on the other hand, didn't reach out to me until yesterday, and instead of talking about why she divorced the man she claimed to love, all she did was talk about her friends' horrible taste in fashion and her new boy toy. And then she invited me to lunch, so I could meet him, and I hung up on her.

I would appreciate some guidance. If I'm being totally honest (and I suppose I should be), I feel just as betrayed and blindsided as my dad. Where did this come from? Am I an idiot for not realizing that she was apparently unhappy? Should I meet the man she's dating now, even though I already despise him and doubt that she'll be with him for longer than a month or two?

I honestly feel a bit better now that I've vented for a minute (even if it's only through email), but can you offer me some advice here? I have no clue what to do or where I stand in this disaster.

With appreciation and much thanks,

Angry, Confused, and Torn Child

***

Dear Angry, Confused, and Torn Child,

First, let me acknowledge that the myriad of emotions you're experiencing is perfectly normal and expected. When a situation like this comes about, it's normal to feel conflicted, but that state grows even worse when it happens so suddenly and unexpectedly.

I must admit, this is a dicey circumstance, and one you must walk carefully in, because there are so many moving parts and different individuals involved.

Nonetheless, let's try to sort through those questions and emotions, shall we?

(Fair warning: This letter will be long)

Where did this come from? Well, I'm afraid only your mother can truly answer that, though—chances are—she might not even know. In many divorce cases similar to this one, the woman feels a lack of connection with her husband but may not realize it. She then tries to "fix" herself, without realizing that it's not just her that needs to be altered. Did your mom go through a phase of "self-help"? Did she start exercising or change her diet? When making such changes doesn't work, she looks closely at her marriage, and that's when all the little, once-minor issues become insurmountable, unfixable mountains. By the time the husband realizes something is off, the wife has resigned herself to a divorce, and (in your mom's case) has already served the papers.