Bloom

40. emotional forest

Zephaniah

Soft chatter was the reason I awoke the next morning. Phebe whispered, Jael talked a little louder. It seemed they were talking to Cooper, I didn't feel his warmth beside me anymore.

Slowly opening my eyes, I rolled onto my back and stared at my cousins, who looked at me with wide eyes. I didn't really understand why, but I let it be as it was early, I didn't feel like talking.

"Sorry, Zephaniah we only wanted to play with Cooper." Jael apologised, pushing Cooper away, who dribbled over to me with his tail sweeping slowly. "Daddy said we can't because of Epi- Epi disorder."

"Is okay," I gave the both of them a smile and sat up, pressing my palms to my eyes for a brief moment. When I removed them, I was startled when Jael almost pressed her nose against mine.

"Cooper licked me." She giggled, then twirled around in her butterfly nightdress. She put her arms into the air and turned around, singing a soft song.

I watched her for a while, she seemed to be so happy and carefree. I felt nostalgic, maybe a slight longing feeling to be her. So cheerful, no worries, no shame. She kept twirling around, her nightdress forming a circle around her legs. Her little feet padded quickly against the floor, raising one leg in the air as she tried to do some ballet, perhaps.

Phebe quietly sat down on my mattress and scooted a little closer to me, giving me a shy smile. "You sleep in our room, Ziphaniah. Do you like the bed?" She pointed at the mattress, I briefly made eye contact, giving her a little smile.

"It's good, Phebe." Removing the blankets from my body, I stretched out my legs and reached for my Nike shorts, trying to slip them upon my legs while remaining to be seated.

Phebe glanced at me, then back to her sister. "Daddy says you are a boy. You have a peepee." She blushed, I wanted to laugh, but held myself back by biting my upper lip.

"I do." I answered, gulping a little. What the heck was I supposed to say? Yes, my aunts taught me how to get along with children properly, but not with kids that were that clever. My cheeks flushed red.

"Phebe!" Jael furrowed her eyebrows. "I'm going to tell daddy you said that! That's very bad!" Jael ran away, Phebe behind her with tears in her eyes.

"It was a little joke, Jael! Don't tell daddy." She cried, trying to grab Jael by her nightdress, but failing miserably as she was smaller, therefore slower with running.

Quickly dressing myself, I awkwardly waited at the doorstep as uncle Samuel lectured his daughters when they had, once again, fought about the comments they made to each other.

"Now, go downstairs and let Zephaniah wake up on his own. Jael, go to mummy and Phebe you had to go to the toilet, yeah? Go to there first, we don't want any accidents, sweetheart." His voice was rather stern, but soft at the same time. I didn't know if that made sense, but I didn't flinch away at the tone- which meant it was just fine. He wasn't angry.

"Ruthie," he said softly, when my aunt walked upstairs and gave her daughters a look. "Have you seen the new ultrasound from Hannah's baby? It's growing so well." He mumbled, my heart sank.

"I'm so curious about the gender," my aunt smiled, softly kissing my uncle's lips. "Do you remember when the girls were born? We were so happy. Still am, by the way. Just think about Hannah. First time experiencing birth."

My heart sank deeper. First time experiencing it.

The birth, Zephaniah. You weren't her baby.

But still.

I kept staring at them, kept listening to their conversations for some, unknown, reasons.