Bloom

64. one of the untold stories

Zephaniah

"I need to tell you something." Haven stayed quiet after that. So did I- I really didn't know what to say, neither did I know what to expect. Anxious feelings came up slightly, my mind focusing on my thumping heart only.

Was she mad? Didn't she want to be my friend anymore? Did she think the same things Luke had thrown onto me last time? Did Tara say anything?

"Hey, do you want to sit on that bench over there? The sun is shining on that bench, the shadows here get a bit chilly." She smiled, but I couldn't bring myself to give her one back, I felt confused. I still nodded in response. Our hands lost contact.

We stared at the canal houses in front of us, the both of us staying quiet, still. It made me even more anxious because I didn't know what to expect. I started flapping my hands, trying to let my emotions out in a way that felt so familiar to me.

"Zephaniah?"

"Yeah." I answered right away, glancing at Haven. Her eyes stood warm and soft, but she swallowed nervously as well. I blinked my eyes faster, looking the opposite direction, hoping for this moment to be over. Not being able to handle such situations well, I started stimming a bit more.

"I.." She was hesitating. When was Haven ever? I focused onto the wooden bench we were sitting on. It was messy, as if people had scratched the wood with their keys, as if bicycles had bumped against it and had scraped off the paint as well as damaged a part off it. Fingers slowly started to pluck some wood off, shoving the mess onto the ground after.

"Did I- did I do something wrong?" I blurted out, glancing at her in pure confusion, some fear as well. If I did, I truly didn't understand what it could've been. I had made quite some jokes today, maybe they had hurt her, even when I wouldn't really know why. But when did I ever know? Different mindsets sucked a lot, at times.

"No! No, Zeph. No, you did not." Haven sighed softly, scooting closer to me. "I'm sorry, I'm just.. nervous telling you this. I need to get straight to the point, right?"

Humming in response, I tried to stuff my flapping hands inside the pockets of my jacket, feeling annoyed at my own behaviour. I narrowed my right eye, glancing at her again. Her eyes went from the boat that was laid into the water on the left side- to the boat that was on the right side. She seemed to be thinking deep, she didn't seem sad, but then again- the word seem made me feel as frustrated as my own complexed mind sometimes.

"Zeph, I.." Haven swallowed thickly, her blue eyes meeting mine for a brief moment- I looked away, the suspense killed me. "I've got feelings for you." Haven blurted out, her rosy cheeks turning rosier.

Staying silent for a long time, my thumping heart screeched into my ears. I played with my fingers, my eyes blinked faster again. "What kind of feelings?" I suddenly wondered, fisting my hands as they wouldn't stop flapping.

Haven's face softened, a smile appeared on her face. "I like you, Zephaniah. I really, really like you. With that, I mean that I cannot help but picture the two of us together. Holding hands, spending more time together, getting to know each other even more.. a relationship. A partner relationship, like your granddad and grandmother. Do you get what I'm saying?"

"You like me?" My cheeks reddened, my heart started thumping even faster. Holding hands. Of course, you fool. It had been a sign. Dad and mum only held hands when they had confessed their love towards me. Haven liked me, like Mum had liked Dad. And still did. Why hadn't I noticed that before? Those were the moments I got frustrated with my own mind.

Haven stayed quiet for a while, looking up. "Yeah. I do." She licked her lips, I stared at the tiny freckle on her cheekbone. "And you know, Zeph. It's so okay if you don't have those feelings for me, okay? It's just.. I really needed to get this off my chest. I don't know where it started.. perhaps, at the beginning already. You're just so.. genuine and soft and sweet and yourself. I appreciate that so much.. the feelings only became stronger and stronger and even now it's still blooming. I'm sorry if this is overwhelming for you in a way, but.. I really needed to tell you."