Bloom

60. notebook with feelings

Haven

Wrapping my hands around my cup of coffee, I continued reading the page of my book, glancing at Zephaniah so now and then. He was sitting across me at the table, writing things down in a notebook he had brought with him from home. Zephaniah had hot chocolate- Nina had made us warm drinks as the day had been colder.

That was one of the facts that was true about the Netherlands- the weather was unpredictable. The one moment the sun would be shining- seconds later you needed an umbrella because the rain would fall down like the British rainfalls we knew all too well.

As we had swum the other day- jackets had been needed this day and tomorrow as well, as Nina had said.

Zephaniah barely took sips, he was too focused on his writing. His eyebrows were furrowed, his tongue sometimes moving around his mouth in concentration. I wondered what he was writing, even if he had briefly explained me that he just wrote what he had done that day, so he didn't have to tell everything once he was home and his parents could simply read it.

I wanted to read it too.

Sipping my coffee, I tried to focus back on the words that were written on the page in front of me, though, my thoughts led me to Zephaniah instead. How he had shown his vulnerability after the House of Anne Frank. How his tears had expressed his soft and sensitivity sides due to the story of the young girl. How he experienced in intense feelings, like Dad had told me.

I liked that. I really liked that about him for some reasons. He was a guy who wasn't afraid of expressing his emotions, even if he shied away at times. Perhaps, it was his autism, which made him experience things differently of course, but it didn't matter to me. He was who he was, even if he didn't appreciate that person. His autism couldn't let him hide fully.

He had no masks, and that was probably the reason why people took advantage of the situation so easily, that was probably the reason why he took my interest so easily.

Zephaniah dropped his pen, dragging me back to reality. I watched him as he took a few sips, licking his upper lip after that. He glanced at me, he smiled a little when our eyes met.

I gave him a playful smile. "Hi."

"Hi." He chuckled, his eyes averting back to his notebook, his cheeks flushing pink.

I smiled, wondering why they flushed. "Is it any good?"

Zephaniah frowned lightly, looking at me in confusion. "What?"

I gestured to his mug. "The chocolate milk."

He hummed, licking his lips as he looked at it, cupping his hands around it. "It's good. Tastes different than home, but good. I mean the chocolate milk.. home does not taste like anything. I think I will shower soon. Do you think I have to ask Nina?" His eyebrows furrowed, his eyes were questionable.

"No, Zeph." I answered. "You don't have to ask her. The shower is specifically placed in our area. You can use it whenever you want." I shrugged slowly, he had asked me if it was okay to shower each time- he was still uncertain to it.

"Okay." He nodded, seeming thoughtful. "You didn't ask her too, right?"

"No, I didn't." I gave him a reassuring smile, watching him as he quietly shoved his chair away, standing up. He fiddled with his fingers, glanced at me and quickly finished his chocolate milk before placing the mug back down.

"I'm going to shower, okay?" Confirmation was still important for him, his parents had told me he had needed that ever since he was little.

"Okay, Zeph." I watched him walk away, hearing how he entered the guys' room. I smiled by myself, focused back on my book and tried to read- but I still couldn't focus, my eyes falling onto his notebook.