Bloom

71. Cooper

Zephaniah

Taking off my numbing headphones, relief washed over me when I saw the familiar silhouette that belonged to Dad, my solidarity. I watched Haven leave the bus, but looked away when she turned her face to me.

I knew I hurt her, and I couldn't bear it myself. It had given me a huge stomach ache, this stinging pain in my chest that hadn't left ever since I saw her crying. It had hit me, deeply, but I was so lost at the moment, that I simply didn't know what to do, or say. Everything was stuck in my mind at this very moment; words, emotions, feelings.

Tears welled up in my eyes, but I quickly blinked them away, focusing on my father instead. Once everybody who had been seated behind me, had left the bus, I stood up and made my way out as well, wanting to be in Baba's loving presence as quickly as possible.

I was anxious, William had forced me to put my suitcase in the luggage space of the bus. It went against me, it had given me anxiety the whole journey. What if somebody had taken it away, or what if somebody had taken stuff out of it? Swallowing, I watched as someone unloaded the area, sighing in relief when I saw mine, the tiny, yellow label with my name on it confirming that.

Quickly snatching it away, my heart fluttered in nerves yet excitement when I turned around. I couldn't wait to see my parents, to see my best friend. I had to tell him so much, I was afraid I would talk his ears off. Not that it could happen, truly. I bit my upper lip, trying not to smile at the sight of it in my mind.

Reality came back when I glanced Haven. I was nauseous because of the sadness.

"Zeph!" Baba's voice made me look up a certain direction, my heavy heart feeling warm. I didn't say anything, I simply let him hug me for a long moment, closing my eyes in the moment. "I missed you so much, my boy. How was it? It was so quiet at home."

"As if- as if I talk much at home." I hummed a little, my eyes squinting as I stared down at my feet. "Notebook, Baba."

"Just because you're not always that talkative doesn't mean your presence goes unnoticed, Zeph. Never. I can't wait to read your notebook." He answered, knowing I meant to say that he could read everything in there, and didn't feel like talking right now. He had come up with it after the Scotland trip, when my grandparents asked how it had been. I had struggled so much with wording the activities, my mind was bursting with information and Dad knew I wrote little stories so now and then about the things Cooper and I had done. It had also been a way for me to empty some of the business in my mind onto paper.

Cooper. Looking up, my heart fluttered wildly- I had missed his affection so much, but I didn't see him.

"Where's Cooper?" I asked, hopeful, my hands flapping in proper excitement.

Dad looked away, his eyes seemed tired. He was quiet for an awfully long time, I felt sicker.

"Where's Coop, Daddy?" I repeated, watching him as he unlocked the car. His eyes glistened, my heart jumped. Baba stared down, swallowing thickly before he looked back at me, stepping closer.

"Zeph.." He shrugged, looking away. "Let's get inside the car first, okay?"

Opening the door, I sat down quickly, my lip quivering because every sense in my body was tense- anxious, cautious in a way. The atmosphere was strange, something bad had happened. "Baba, where's Coop." I couldn't hold back the tears anymore, realising what was about to get thrown at me.

"He's alive, Zeph. He's still alive but he's become so sick.." Dad swallowed, starting the car. "I wanted to take you home first to rest a bit and then we could go to the vet because-"

"Where's Cooper, Baba, please. Is he- is he at home?" Furrowing my eyebrows, I tried to figure out what Dad's expression meant, but my autism wouldn't let me. It frustrated me, I kicked the glove compartment, not knowing how else to express it.