My love, my life.

24

Lucy was leaving to go back to France today and she tell that Frankie wasn't pleased, but even so, she hadn't brought it up yet - probably because Steph told her this morning not to cause an argument.

"Are you coming to the airport with us, Fran?" Steph asked as they were all sat down at the kitchen table for breakfast. Fran didn't look up from her food, she just shook her head.

Lucy pushed away her plate and stood up from the table. "I've lost my appetite, I'm going to go finish packing."

"Can I help you auntie Lucy?!" Amy asked. Lucy wasn't sure if she knew she was leaving but she smiled at the little girl in front of her, picking her up from her chair.

"Of course you can little pea."

Fran watched as Lucy left the room with Amy in her arms and she stood up from the table, walking towards the window so she could stare out of it.

"I thought we agreed that you'd stop drinking. It's 9am on a Monday morning. What the fuck are you thinking?" Steph also stood up from the table and Fran could see Stephen sit back in his seat out of the corner of her eye.

"It was one drink. It makes me comfortable." Fran muttered through gritted teeth.

"Comfortable?? Lucy might buy that bullshit but I certainly don't. Sometimes I really don't know why she loves you, she came all this way to make things right and you can't even stay sober for longer than 5 minutes! And this is so much more than Keira handing you a glass of vodka. You've been back on the drink for months and you were able to hide it when Lucy wasn't here but now all the attentions on you, it's so fucking obvious. You are falling apart but you aren't going to take Lucy down with you."

"I just got her back, Steph..." Fran muttered, turning round to face her former captain.

"I know. But if you really love her, you'll let her go. Just until your clean." Steph felt like the devils advocate. She knew she was destroying both of her friends lives, but she also knew it was the best thing for them both at this particular time.

Fran finally nodded and wiped her tears away. She breathed in deeply and walked out of the kitchen towards the bedroom, poking her head through the door to where Lucy and Amy were sat putting clothes into Lucy's suitcases.

"Amy can you go and help Aunt Steph clean up?" Fran asked as she made her presence known at the door. Amy nodded and got up, running out the room and Fran shut it behind her.

Fran walked over and sat down next to Lucy on the bed, taking her hand and squeezing it gently. "I just want you to know... I love you." Fran muttered, resting her head on Lucy's shoulder.

"But? There's always a but..." Lucy pulled her and away from Fran and turned her shoulder so that they were facing each other.

"When you were gone, I always imagined what my life would be like if you came back, even though I was so fucking angry at you for leaving. Everything I did reminded me of you, I couldn't forget about you and what you did, knowing that it was with her made me hate you even more. But I got over that really quickly when I started working at Lyon. I realised having you back in my life didn't really live up to what I thought it would in my head."

"Gee thanks...."

"That's not what I meant." Fran frowned.

"I know what you meant." Lucy snapped.

"Let me fucking finish." Fran snapped back, folding her arms.

"Fine."

"I thought that everything was going to get better when we decided to give it another go but really we were just papering over the cracks. Our problems are so much deeper than this, Luce. And I know that you know that too."

"You don't want to be with me..."

"No. God, I do. I want to be with you so much. I just need time..."

"Time?! You need time?! You had 5 fucking years!"

"That's not what I meant! I need time to sort myself out before I can be with you!"

"Why won't you let me help you..."

"I'm so fucking ashamed, Lucy..."

"I love you.."

"Don't. I'm not going to change my mind..."

Lucy sighed. "So that's it then? You're giving up?"

"You gave up first. A long time ago. You should go, you'll miss your flight."

"You begged me to stay...and now you're begging me to leave.. I don't get it." Lucy wipe away a year and got up from the bed.

"I hope you find whatever it is you think you've lost, Frankie." She finished, leaning across to gently kiss Fran on the cheek.

"I'm sorry..." Fran muttered.

"I told you, it'll always be you." She sighed and walked out, shutting the door behind her. Fran lay down on Lucy's side of her bed, spending the rest of the day there.

She had absolutely no idea what to do next.