Kitten on Guitar

Chapter 8

Louis POV

Harry stills for a second before he puts his phone back on the table. He doesn't come cuddling again, instead he starts fidgeting at the opposite end of the couch.

'Harry, what's wrong?' I ask him concerned. Harry looks up a bit startled, like he forgot I was still in the room. I see tears start to form in his eyes as he crawls, literally like a kitten, over to my lap and hides his face in my T-shirt. 

I'm a bit confused by his reaction, but the confusion turns back to concern as I hear soft sobs leave his mouth. 'I'm an idiot, Louis.' Harry says, even though it comes out like a whisper, I still hear it loud and clear because his mouth is so close to my ear.

'No, Harry you aren't an idiot. I don't know anyone that is an idiot.' I say as I wrap my arms around the sobbing kitten boy on my lap. 

'Yes I am! I'm stupid for being scared. How can you be scared of something if it never hurt you? That just idiotic, isn't it?' Harry says, making absolutely no sense.

'That's not true. Lots of people are scared of the dark, not because anything happened to them in the dark, but they are scared something will happen in the dark. Or people are scared of sharks, not because they have been bitten, but because they are scared that they will be bitten. We aren't always scared because of what happened in the past, but sometimes because of the posiblity that we will get hurt in the future.' I tell him. 'But that might not be what you mean. You know you can talk to me, love.' 

A deep sigh escapes Harry's mouth as he rapidly catches the tears and stops crying completely a few seconds later. 'You know my boyfriend, Collin, right?' 

I had no clue that his name was Collin, but I nod nonetheless. I see Harry's ears hidden between his hair. He must be really scared. Of what though? His boyfriend? Quietly, I start to softly scratch him behind his kitten ears.

'Well, he doesn't exactly hurt me, if that's what you are thinking. It's just, he threats me a lot, I guess. He gets mad easily and starts yelling at me. When Collin's friends are over at his house, he likes to embarres me in front of them. He likes to make me act like a complete kitten or as their butler. He never actually hurt me or gave a bruise, but some of his friends have before. I guess I'm scared that he will start giving me bruises too, even though he hasn't done that before.' Harry confesses. 

'Harry, love, someone doesn't have to give you bruises to hurt you. A friend of mine has been in a relationship with a girl who was completely controlling him. She never physically hurt him, but emotionaly he always felt uncomfortable at the mention of her name or their relationship. Around each other, he always wanted to go away. He was hurting emotionally. The way you just explained your relationship with Collin, is worse than what my friend has been through.' I put the hand that is not scratching him behind his ears under his chin to make him look in his eyes. 'Are you scared to be with him?'

I see Harry nod once briefly. 'I'm scared I do something wrong and that he will hurt me.' He explains.

'Listen Harry, I don't want you to immediately answer this question, but I want you to think about it. Do you love him?' I ask him and it stays quite for a long time. 

Harry opens his mouth again after a few moments of silence. 'I don't really know what love is, actually.' 

This conversation starts to look like one you would have with a shrink and I can know that, my aunt is one. 'I don't think love has a definition. Love has a different meaning for every single person. For example, some find love when they completely trust another. Some find love in someone close to them, like family. But I think love is when you feel like you can completely be yourself around someone and feel safe and protected at the same time. But it might have a different meaning for you.'

Harry doesn't say anything. The movie that was playing is long forgotten, when I take one look at the screen I see it went back to the menu. I let it stay that way, not wanting to move away from the kitten boy that is still lying in my arms. 

'What did that text say, Harry?' I ask once it doesn't seem like Harry is going to reply to my words from earlier about love.

Harry stretches his arm out so his hand just reaches his phone. He hands me his phone and his latest text is on the screen. It's from Collin. It says that he will be coming home one day earlier and that Harry better be home or else he will get very mad. It disgusts me that someone can write a text like that to someone. It's like he doesn't give a single fuck about Harry or his feelings.

'Not the friendliest text in the world. I almost get the chills from that and it isn't even addressed to me.' I say. A soft smile comes on Harry's face. He looks so cute, but also so scared. I really want to help him, but I'm not sure if he wants help and if he does, who says he wants my help? 

'I don't think I love him, Louis.' Harry says quietly. 'It never felt right being with him, but it was better than nothing. At least, that's what I say to myself. Maybe I should think about what I really want myself...' 

'Of course you need to think about yourself. In a relationship you need to work together, not just let one work or let the other do more. If you feel like you don't love him and you don't want to be with him, you should tell him that. It's better to be honest.' My incredible advice, what would you be without it? 'If you want to I would even come with you to talk to Collin.' 

Harry sends me a grateful smile before he wraps his arms around my waist and puts his head on my shoulder. 'Thank you, Louis. You are the best friend I've ever had.' Harry says. It's completely silent for a moment before I hear Harry quietly add. 'I think I might love someone else though.'