Loving the Enemy

Kyle-16

Dear no one,
How long can you hold your breathe underwater before you slowly feel yourself losing control? Before that burning sensation in your lungs becomes too much to bear and you find yourself gasping for the slightest bit of air to only be welcomed with fluid flooding your system. You see, my entire fucking life kind of feels like I've just been holding my breath underwater waiting for the day I'll learn how to swim to the top and breath or until someone could finally give a fuck enough to save me.
//-kyle

I still remember the first time I ever went to see a psychiatrist, it was when the social workers got involved with me after an incident involving Olivia fracturing her arm when we were like six and I pushed her down a little too hard and the teachers were beginning to notice a viscous cycle of disturbing behavior on my part. My dad wasn't doing very well during that time period, mom had just divorced him for her one true love since high school, opiates, and he had turned to his mistress, alcohol, and I was just stuck in the middle of them both. It would take 2 different child psychiatrist and almost an entire year for me to finally be diagnosed and put on medication. I use to go to therapy but as I got older I turned to football which became an active part of life that kind of distracted me from all of my problems in my life. A therapist was no longer really needed, I did go once a month however just to get a checkup and a new prescription on my medicine and to have any adjustments as needed.

I have an appointment today. Ironic enough it was like the universe knew I was just going to have a mental breakdown, and Andrea, my psychiatrist called me yesterday evening to schedule a check-up.
I walk into her office 20 mins late but I know she's still billing me despite the time wasted. She's sitting in her chair with a tight bun in her hair and her face clean from makeup her eyes are emotionless but her smiles friendly. Andrea's dressed in this flattering black skirt and red blouse with match heels. She's young for a woman in her profession, only twenty-five and quite frankly, sexy as hell. My lips quirk up in a smirk as she makes eye contact with me. Me and Andrea are very familiar with each other. I started seeing her when I was fifteen when my old psychologist died. I wasn't sad for too long...
Andrea smiles at me biting her red bottom lip. "Kyles, it been too long since our last...encounter." Andrea uncrosses her legs and her skirt lifts slightly causing me to feel myself become aroused. Shit. Not today.
"I didn't come here for that," I find myself saying despite my body's protest. Andrea raises her eyebrow at me but doesn't say anything as she pulls out her notepad she then gestures for me to take the seat in front of her and I do cautiously. "Tell me what on your mind Kyle, " her voice is sultry and seductive but I ignore it.

I begin to tell her everything to being locked in the office to having sex with Olivia, and to possible getting expelled. She gives me looks of shock and a few gasps every here and there but stays mostly stoic as I speak, she's actually good at her job for the most part when she's not trying to get in my pants.

"Kyle you can't be going that long without taking your medication, ever. You bring up this Olivia girl a lot in our sessions and I was under the impression you hated this girl very deeply, yet you're attracted to her even though she's not good for you and you're not good for her does the connection for her remind you of anything?"
I can hardly focus on anything she's saying because all I can see is her chest spilling out the top of her unbuttoned blouse and I know just how amazing they look when they're fully out."What are you trying to say, Andrea?"
She licks her lip and looks at me seriously moving on the end of her seat. "You speak of Olivia the same way a drug addict speaks of they're addiction, you like how you feel when your with her and around her so you can't help yourself and in the end you regret it and you only hurt yourself and her."
"That not true, drug addicts love being around drugs. I hate being around her," I tell her feeling almost defensive and Andrea laughs. "Do you really hate being around her though? In all your stories your always the one coming near her to harm her. You initiate it. Does it not feel good when your harming her?" It does feel good, during, but after when it's been done I feel awful. I don't answer her but I don't need to, she already knows.

"Maybe instead of taking your anger out on her, you should tell her the truth I mean how long can y-"
"I'm done talking about Olivia. Last time I checked your mouth does better things." Andrea laughs once again and just like that we're kissing. Then she shows me just how right I am about her mouth doing much better things.

I know what you're thinking how cliche, the fuck up and his Psychiatrist having sex?! Well, that's another long story, you're going to learn I have many of those. That was the second time in one week I had ended up naked on an office floor. I got up leaving her there without saying another word after getting dressed.

My life isn't one for most but over time it's one that you become accustomed to.

A/N
Wow have your thoughts changed on Kyle is he really just a horrible person?
Do you feel bad for him?
Do you hate him?
Vote
Comment
Share