Dear Shumail..

Chapter 21

10th Sept, 2019

"Do you know what's the worst thing that anyone could do?" Shumail questioned.

"What?" Eram questioned, her eyebrows scrunching at Shumail for suddenly bringing up the topic. "Maybe kill someone?" She guessed unsure.

"No. Break someone's trust." Shumail answered, his gaze boring into Eram's as he spoke, as if his words were directed towards her. "When you kill someone, you only kill his body but when you break someone's trust, you kill his soul." Unable to handle his gaze, her head went down automatically and her heart was filled with regret. She felt horrible for what she was doing to him but the courage that was needed to tell him everything, she didn't have any. "When the trust is broken, then there's nothing that can ever fix it. Not only you break someone's trust but you even take away their ability to ever trust someone else. The person can't ever trust someone again. Ever."

Eram woke up from her sleep, gasping for air, taking deep breaths trying to fill her lungs with air as if she was a fish which was momentarily taken out from water devoiding it of it's oxygen. The nightmare, Shumail's words, his eyes that were fixed on her, came rushing to her mind as soon as she had composed herself. As if she already didn't feel enough guilty, that Shumail's words which he had spoken to her when they were together, were haunting her even in her dreams.

Recalling every other day that Shumail just pretended to get close to her and not actually meant it, made her feel miserable but the fact that he was the one because of whom her brother was with her, she couldn't help but pray to get one chance to thank him for that and apologise for every pain she inflicted on him.

She knew what she had done, Shumail would never forgive her for it but still she wanted to beg him for forgiveness. She had been asking her Rabb to forgive her for hurting Shumail, who had been nothing but sweet towards her. Every night she cried herself to sleep and every morning she woke up with the hope of getting some news about him. Where he was, what he was doing, how he was, all of the questions bugged her everyday and the answers to them, she wasn't able to find.

Letting out a defeated sigh and making a silent dua that she gets some news about Shumail, she got out of bed only to fall back on it holding her head which was throbbing with pain. All the objects in the room began to spin as she quickly closed her eyes for a brief moment, still holding her head in her hands.

"You okay aapi?" Zain asked, coming in the room as Eram opened her eyes and saw him ready in his school uniform.

She gave him a small smile, "I'm okay just a minor headache. Why didn't you wake me up?" She questioned as she slowly stood up and made her way to the washroom to freshen up.

"I tried to but you were fast asleep so I thought to get ready first and then wake you up." Zain reasoned as he began to stuff his books in his school bag.

Eram nodded her head at him and enetered the bathroom as she moved to the sink and splashed cold water on her face. She looked up at her reflection in the mirror and saw a defeated girl look back at her, who lost her everything because of her own stupidity.

"If you didn't love me in the first place then you shouldn't have married me." Eram said, her heart sinking knowing that she didn't have a place in his heart.

"Do you think I wanted to?" Shumail asked, turning his face to the side looking at her over his shoulder. "I already told you, if I had to get Zain's custody then I had to provide the authorities with the proof of your income stability and this was the best way I could do that. I wouldn't have otherwise." He stated.

She didn't knew how she could muster up so much courage to stride towards him and turn him by holding his hands as she made him face her. Standing on her tiptoes she was a bit his level as she caught hold of his collars. "Tell me you're lying. Tell me that it wasn't just for Zain. Tell me you're doing this because you're angry with me. Tell me that's it's all a lie!" She exclaimed at the end, her tears rolling down her cheeks freely, her eyes searching his for some emotions but she could see none.