Patch Me Up (Shizuo x Izaya)

Patch Me Up

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Shizuo's pov:

I walked back and forth around my room, it was already 2:39 pm...I should be in bed..I have school tomorrow. But I was so impatient to find out what that guy had to send...this was the root cause of everything..the reason Izaya-kun was being blackmailed...the reason he won't accept my feelings..the boundary between us...my heart feels like it'll explode out of my chest any minute...I'm so anxious to know...I need to calm down...

Taking a deep breath I sat down at the edge of my bed, looking outside the window sighing peacefully. The moonlight was the only source of light, radiating through my window like a dim lantern. Do I really want him this bad..? I took this risk..knowing It had two conclusions to it. Either he'd get mad and hate me forever....or believe that nothing in this entire world will ever change the way I feel for him...though my heart...only believed in the first conclusion.

I jumped when my phone suddenly blinked notifying me that someone had sent me an email, my hand reached for the phone at the speed of light. I looked at the ID of the person and took a deep breath.

It's here..

Multiple files were attached, I didn't know which to open first. I started off with the first, opening it hesitantly and waiting for it to load. It was a 15 minute long video and to my surprise, it had loaded faster than I expected , it was a bedroom, someone was laying in bed..after focusing I realized it was Izaya-kun..he was just laying there, but his actions were sloppy. Maybe he had a pounding headache? My eyes shifted towards the person who suddenly entered the room. He seemed...old..maybe his dad? My eyes widened a little when the older male suddenly grabbed my precious ravens wrist and tackled him down to the bed. What the hell is this? Wrestling?

My pupils dialated when their lips met, and the raven clumsily wrapped his arms around the old mans neck. They were going to have sex. I felt like I needed to vomit, because along with the first video, the others I watched were one of the most shocking  visions I had ever seen. Countless men, barging into one room...one after another...just to violate- no...it was mutual...he didn't resist. He didn't resist at all. He knew what was happening with him. Clutching my phone in my hand, I threw it towards the wall breaking it into a million pieces. My eyes couldn't believe what they saw...it couldn't be...he can't be double-faced..can he?

Tears started forming at the corners of my eyes, I groaned and clutched my hair in dismay. I refuse to believe he has a double face...I refuse! but why...why is it so hard to believe myself..? Tears rolled down my cheeks and fell onto my blanket, the fabric absorbing it. Oh god...I shouldn't have seen that...I can't get those images out of my head..this war in my head..it's driving me insane...I want to believe he's not like that..but I'm forced to believe he is. I want to hit myself...beat the life out of me. I swore I'd love him no matter what...so why am I going back on my word? "Ugh.." my cries got worse when the hiccups started, I wanted to scream. It's like I've been stabbed with a million knives..all aiming towards my heart. I want to kill my self...that's all I wanted right now. My world had become a mess.

I didn't attend school for two days. didn't have the courage to face him, I told shinra to take my notes. He came to visit me, but didn't understand what was wrong with me...he was worried as heck..but I couldn't lessen his worry. I felt so broken. I feel like I'm not the same person anymore. Is this what a heartbreak is? I clutched my chest tightly, if it is...then there's no worse feeling than this.

I groaned when tears started to drip down onto the bed sheet again. It's like I can't control these tears anymore. It fucking annoys me. I wiped my eyes and sighed laying back in bed, covering myself in the sheets. A knock on my door startled me, causing me to open my swollen eyes in dismay and groan. "...come in..." I bet it's shinra again, though he already came by today. Maybe mom? Kusa- "what the hell happened to you!?" My eyes widened when the male nurse entered my room. Izaya-Kun...I'm not ready to face him yet.

He dropped his bag, rushing towards me, placing a hand on my forehead. "You're even burning up, why didn't you tell me you were sick?" He whispered concerned. Tears automatically started to roll down my cheeks, I groaned and pushed his hand away. I don't need to see him right now...I don't have the strength to...He blinked and stared at me with wide eyes. "...shizuo..?" Worry was present in his voice. "You need to leave...I can't see you right now." I choked out, trying to keep it together. He sat down next to me and bought his hands back up to my cheeks. "Why..? Shizuo look at me."he shivered and spoke. I shook my head and refused to make eye contact.

"Look at me..please..." he seemed hurt, his voice shaking. I gave a small glance at the raven, who was now on the verge of tears. His eyes filled with worry and fear, his hands shaking. Was he really that worried..? For me? "I can't do it Izaya...I can't shake those images away.." I hiccuped, feeling so week. He shook his head and suddenly pulled me in for a tight hug, holding my head tightly to his chest. "I-it's okay...I'm here...we'll figure this out together..first you need to calm down." I nodded and wrapped my arms around his waist tightly, an abnormally peaceful sensation calming me down. His gentle hands caressing my hair softly, making me sigh out of relief. I love this feeling...I love it so much.

"Better?" He spoke gently, running his fingers through my hair. I gave a small nod and pulled away, grabbing his hands surprising him. "Speak to me honestly." He looked at me, tilting his head. "Alright..?" "You love me, right?" I asked, seriousness present in my voice. He bite his lip, but nodded. "Yes...I do." I sighed and looked down, then held a hand up to his cheek, giving him a look of pure regret. "Then what I'm going to show you, you're going to explain to me."

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