BLONDE// Roger Taylor Fan Fic

12 ~ Decision

I didn't know where to go, since Roger was the one that drove me here. I ran up the stairs, pushing past a few people, and found myself in a bedroom. I assume a guest bedroom, since there was only a bed, chair, and a wardrobe. Nothing special.

I sat down on the foot of the bed, rubbing the palm of my hand. A tear fell down from my eye as my throat began to clump up. Why did it have to happen like this? Why'd I have to kiss him in the first place?

Just then, I heard the creaking of the door knob. I quickly wiped away my tears, and stood up. I saw a figure with long brown hair walk in. He shut the door and spun around. "Oh," He said. It was John Deacon, the bass player in Roger's band. "Uh, I'm sorry to intrude. I didn't mean--"

"No, no it's OK" I interrupted. I sat back down on the bed, looking down at my hand. 

"I was just finding some place quiet." He said, looking in my direction. "Hey, are you alright? I-is something wrong? Should I get someone?" 

"No! D-don't get--" I broke out crying again. Deaky walked over and sat down next to me. "I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"No, don't be sorry, I get it." He wrapped an arm around me for comfort. "What's wrong? What happened?" He asked.

Should I answer? Or would that just made things worse? It didn't matter. I needed to talk to someone. "I just-- I think I ruined everything again." I said.

"Everything? What do you mean?"

"I always end up hurting people, right?" I said.He didn't respond, so I just kept talking. "Anyways, someone I know called me their girlfriend, but I don't know what we are. I don't want to end up ruining the whole thing."

"Well," He said. I could tell he didn't know what I was talking about. After a few seconds, he started talking again. "How do you feel about this person? Do you like them?" I nodded my head. "Why do you like them?"

"Uh, well, they're really kind. He's always there to help me I guess. He also makes me really happy, too." I responded. "Why?"

"So, I take it you really like him, and that's all that matters, I think." 

"How is that gonna stop me from hurting him?" I asked.

He took a moment to think before responding. "Think about this, uh,"

"Kellen." I said.

"Kellen, think about this. You could either leave him, along with what makes you happy, or you could take your chances, and go forward with your relationship. First option, you'll definitely hurt him and yourself by leaving, second option, it's a 50/50 chance."

He was right. It was better to stay with Roger. But how was I gonna face him? My anxiety was already kicking in just thinking about it. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Thank you." I said. 

"Sure. Is he at the party?" Deaky asked.

"Uh, yeah." I said. "Down stairs somewhere, probably looking for me."

"I suggest going to him now, then." Deaky got up, pulling me to my feat along with him. "I'll help you look. What's he look like?"

"Uh, no. You don't have to. I'll be OK. Thanks anyways." I said

"No, really. It's no trouble." He said, opening the door for me.

Should I tell him? That might be awkward. I guess I will, since he's already offered. "Uh, actually, you should know where he'd be." He gave me a look, indicating he was confused. "It's Roger." I said.

"Oh. Roger Taylor?" I nodded my head again. "Oh. Then, yeah. I guess I do. He hasn't told me he was seeing anyone." I wouldn't think so, since I was such a private person, and Roger knew that. 

Deaky found him in the garden out back. He was running around all over until he saw me standing in the door way. "Wish you luck." Deaky said, turning around and walking back inside. 

Roger ran up to me, placing his hands on my hips. "Kellen! I'm so sorry, I don't know what I did. Why'd you have to run off?" He said, looking all panicked. 

"I--" I forgot what I was gonna say. I looked up into his ocean blue eyes, joy rushing back into my body. "I just, didn't know we were in that kind of relationship." I said.

"I'm sorry. We don't have to be. I jus--" I didn't let him finish his sentence before interrupting. 

"No, no. It's alright." I said. "I want to be. I was just scared to commit to it."

"Why were you scared?" Roger asked.

"I've never been in a relationship, and not hurt someone. I didn't want to do that to you." I looked down at my shoes. 

"Kellen, don't ever say that. What about Jamie and Electra?" He said, lifting my chin to match his gaze. "I don't want to loose you. I'll take my chances. Please, stay with me?"

"OK. I'm sorry." I said.

"I'm sorry, too." He wrapped his arms around me, embracing me in a big hug. Then, he pulled apart just enough to place a soft kiss on my lips. It was so comforting. I wanted to run inside to say thanks to Deaky. If it weren't for him, I'd be walking home, alone and scared.