Hurt

Chapter 8

Chapter --

It was all completely dark. My throat was burning and I could feel the pain throughout my entire body. I opened my mouth and started to talk but my throat clenched shut.

I didn't know what to do. I lost where I was in the sentence. I stopped trying to talk and stared into the black abyss that was all around me.

My breathe stopped completely and i clenched my jaws in anger. I was so mad at myself and I couldn't do anything to change. I felt like I was suffocating.

My stomach started growling. I felt pathetic in my own dream. The room that was colored like tar gradually lightened. My hunger went away and eventually the room was pure white.

It got better. I smiled to myself. I didn't feel like I was suffocating anymore. I felt so warm inside. I felt like I could finally talk. "It doesn't hurt..." I whispered to anyone who could hear.

It will get better. When I leave highschool it's going to get better. I could be free. I don't have to be scared. I---- woke up in the midst of my happiness.

I woke up all alone. I'm stupid. I'm gonna be stuck like this forever. Because I am paying for the sins of somebody and only God knows who. I'm so stupid.

I lifted my legs up and over the bed I was laying on. My stomach roared with hunger and I scanned the room for whatever food I could find.

I spotted a box of crackers across the room. I hopped off the bed and hit the ground with a thud. I wave of dizziness came over me as I stood and tried to take a step forward. I carefully took steps. I probably looked like a baby learning to walk.

My vision wasn't as blurry as it was last time I passed out from anemia. I would say I'm stronger but to be honest I went without eating longer last time.

After what seemed like an eternity later I felt the cracker box in my finger tips. Not even a second later and I ravaged the box like an animal. I shoved crackers into my mouth and sighed in relief. The crackers were real.

It wasn't some sick joke. I started eating the crackers slowly and one by one. I didn't care if I had to get to class. The food tasted so good.

I heard people faintly talking outside of the door. "This isn't the first time this has happened! I want to know what's going on!" A female half screamed. She was probably the nurse. "Relax she is probably just a sickly child." The principal cooed. She got the principal involved.

"She looks sickly....I think something is up." She said normally. "Then maybe you should ask her." I could hear the smile on the principals face as he told her.

Nonononononononononono!!!!

I hate the questions. I hate the concern. I hate hating things. I heard the oak door sing open. Seconds later the nurse came in. "Hi!" She smiled at me like I couldn't hear the conversation earlier.

She sat across from me as I continued to eat the crackers. "How long has it been since you ate?" I swallowed hard at her question. To be honest I didn't know.

I opened my mouth but everything felt dry. Everything felt like I want supposed to talk. "I-I s-s-skipped d-dinner and bre-e-akfast." I stuttered out terrified.

She pursed her lips. She looked at me like she was waiting for me to tell her the truth. "Ok I will believe you. For now." My heart felt heavier. For now? She knew.

"You can hang out here. I hate Jinno so I can imagine you hate him too." She winked as she threw a nurse pass away. "I am getting the feeling you don't want your parents to know." She stated pretending to organize her desk. She spun around in her chair acting bored. I nodded to her as she twirled.

I knew she figured it out. I'm abused. SAY IT! YOUR KILLING FROM THE INSIDE! She sighed. "You don't talk much do you? Tsk. Tsk. You know I need an assistant. A student assistant. Want to try?" She questioned me. She acted like she rarely gets company.

I nodded. I could get out of class. I could get away from Luna. "Hey Mikan?" She questioned. It didn't sound like venom when it came from her. I looked up at her giving her my attention. "Let's be friends." She smiled.

That is a first somebody wants to be friends with me. I turned my head towards the ground and played with my thumbs. I am either gonna make the stupidest mistake of my life or the bets mistake. "Sure." I was smiling on the inside. A sound erupted from the bed next to the one I was laying in earlier.

I held my breath. Natsume. He looked at me. I looked at the notebook he was asking for earlier. I hopped onto my feet and walked silently to it.

I gracefully picked it up and held it out towards him. "Thanks..." He whispered. He jerked it from my hands. "Bye..." He looked at the nurse. He was skipping class. The nurse gave a small wave to him.

"Sit. Let's go over what you need to know as an assistant." She patted to my seat that I was sitting in before. I sat down. I somehow still had the crackers in my hand. Slowly eating and listening I thought for once I wasn't an idiot.