She's My Bodyguard

Sixteen

I went nine months without a breakdown, nor nightmare.

But tonight... It was god awful.

I rushed to the bathroom, heaving out my dinner, and Spitfire made his way by my side immediately, keeping his paw on my skin.

I leaned on the porcelain throne, shaking violently with no ability to control it.

"Leysa?" I heard Mason get up. I couldn't answer him. I heard his footsteps on the tile. "Hey, hey, hey..." I felt him brush away my hair. "Look at me." I barely managed to open my eyes. "You're not there. Not Iraq, not Israel... You're here, with me." I couldn't stop the shaking. "You're with me." He continued to stroke my hair until I pushed myself away from the toilet. "Come on, let's go out to the living room." He picked me up effortlessly, bridal style, and took me out to the living room, and laid me on the couch. He didn't sit with me, but rather come back with a few gummy bears. "Here." I saw the jaw in his other hand. CBD gummies. I popped them in my mouth and chewed.

He sat with me, my head in his lap, and we said nothing for awhile. After my shaking stopped, I spoke.

"I don't know what triggered it." I breathed.

"Nobody knows what triggers it, Leysa... It could be something, or it could be nothing." He rubbed my arm. "But you're still you. You're still here." Spitfire jumped on the couch, snuggling at my feet. "You will be okay. I'll be okay. We have to be okay." I closed my eyes.

"Nobody likes waking up in the middle of the night, shaking and puking their guts up." I sighed, feeling drowsy again. I fell back asleep soon after, only to be woken up by Agnes soon after.

"It's almost noon, Leysa." I looked around, a little disoriented. "Are you-"

"I slept for almost twelve hours?" She nodded. I rubbed my face, and sat up. "I have to go to the store. Do you need anything?"

"I made a run on Monday, but... I can make you a list."

*

I had been taking all of my medications on time, never missing a dose... If my suspicions were true, I'd have a problem.

I got everything Agnes wanted, and what I needed, and went back home. I put the groceries away and snuck into the bathroom. I washed my hands and waited.

Ten minutes felt like ten hours. I picked up the stick, and closed my eyes when I saw it. Two very bright, very there, pink lines.

"Fuck.... Fuck!" I screamed, throwing the stick. I called the VA immediately, getting sent to the OBGYN line.

"Our earliest appointment is Friday at 10am-"

"Okay, I'm on a lot of anti-anxieties and anti-depressants, I can't stay on them when I'm pregnant!" I hissed. "I need something earlier!"

"Our doctors are booked up, Ms. Romera. You can try to get an appointment with an outside doctor, but I can't just drop patients to make an opening for you." If I went to the doctor off VA territory, Mason could see the insurance bill... but it was something I had to risk. So I found a doctor way the fuck north of Dallas, in Denton, and scheduled an appointment there.

The earliest day available was Wednesday. Two days. I could do with two days.

My phone rang, and I saw it was Mason by the picture. I hesitated for a moment, and picked it up.

"Hey.." I masked my conflicted voice.

"You're finally awake. I wanted to see if you were maybe up to a movie tonight-"

"Sure! What movie?" He paused for a moment.

"You okay?" No!

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"Never mind. Got a couple of tickets to the midnight showing of The Rise of Skywalker, couple of friends got the tickets, all back row." I don't want to go out! I want this thing out of me!

"Sounds good." I forced a smile to sound okay. "Hey, I gotta run out for a few, I'll see you tonight." I hung up before I started to cry on the phone. I took an extra Xanax, and waited for it to kick in.

But by time it kicked in, Mason was already home... and I was still in a fit of cold sweats and about ready to pass out.

"Hey, are you okay?" I hated lying to him. I hated lying in general. But he couldn't know.

I was in a circumstance where I had no choice but to get rid of my problem. If I didn't, I'd probably had a really bad, birth defect, addicted baby, and that couldn't happen.

Yet another trauma added to my plate.

"I will be." I lied through my teeth. I'll never be okay.

"I'll tell them we're not able to go-"

"You don't have to give up going out with them... I'll be fine." He looked at me, clearly upset, but he hesitated.

"Are you sure?" I nodded.

"Don't let me stop you from going out... Really, I'll be okay." He put his phone away.

"Okay." He leaned down, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "Love you." I mumbled it back, sleep taking over, leaving me out for the count.

*

M

Something was up with her. She was definitely not okay.

I had gone to the movies, but my gut was telling me to go home and pry the truth out of her... But we all needed space. She'd come forth eventually.

When I got home that night, she was out cold, and I went to the bathroom to take a shower when I found the stick.

Two fucking lines.

The world around me almost collapsed.

9 years ago

I was leaving home to join the Navy when my girlfriend at the time cheated on me. I didn't know that then, but when she had the baby, I had come for the birth, thinking it was mine. Being a dumb nineteen year old at the time, I didn't take anything into consideration.

When the baby came, he looked like me, but she was exactly 40 weeks. I didn't come home after basic, because I went immediately into SEAL training...

I demanded a paternity test, proving it wasn't mine. She tried to refuse, but thanks to the great state of Texas, I got my demand. The hospital wouldn't allow her to leave until the testing was done.

I had turned my life upside down to keep her happy, but it wasn't enough. She cheated, got knocked up, and expected me to foot the bill.

*

I took a deep breath. Leysa didn't date, she didn't fuck around, and I knew what she took. Odds are, it failed. I should have been more careful.

I put the stick back where I found it, and decided to let her come clean herself. She probably just found out, and she deserved to tell me on her own terms... But doubt still riddled me, and I knew it shouldn't...

I'll give her a week... A week is more than fair.

Oh look! A wild update appeared!

It's winter break and I have some time off from work. Figured I owed an update. Enjoy!