Symphony

38

Ashers pov

All i can do is watch, watch as she backs away futher from me a look in her eyes one that i can't quite read was it anger, sadness, confusion, love or dare i say hatred.

She had said it, she had told me she hates me, i knew she didn't mean in i could see it in her eyes but i could also see the need, the want to be able to hate me.

I wish i had an excuse that i could prove it wasn't true,that it was never a game but then i wouldn't only be lying to her i'd be lying to myself.

It started off harmless, the 'first' day i saw her in those halls isaak gave me a simple dare, he had asked johnny if he wanted to participate as well, my best friend declined just like i should've, kiss her thats all it was just a kiss.

But something about her was so captivating i hadn't spoke to her ever, though i had wanted too, i would see her the quiet girl who adored music however she wasn't always quiet that was until one day, the day she lost caleb and she lost all trust in anyone from then on.

She let me in, she trusted me and i broke that.

I hate myself for hurting her she made me realise that my fucked up way of thinking about others, about life was just that- a very fucked up way of thinking.

I lied to her so much and the deeper i fell the more i lied this was bound to happen it was inevitable this whole thing was going to end and i made it that way i made it a game.

The first lie i told her was that she could trust me.

This would've been fine, perfectly fine if she hadn't been so perfect, so innocent, if i just hadn't fell in love with her but she didn't do this it wasn't her fault it was mine i ruined this, us.

Shes now out of sight and i dont know where she is going, would she go home, our home or back to her parents place with him....hayden.

I had hated him for hurting her yet here i was doing the exact same.

I need to find her.

I turned to isaak who was smirking back at me

"wipe that fucking smile of your face" i snap earning a chuckle from him

"i've got to say i understand why you're so angry i mean look at her shes fucking h-"

i punch him again for the second time today he eggs me on and wont stop speaking about her

once again johnny pulls me off of him but then swings a punch at me taking me by surprise

"what the fuck man!?" i exclaim stumbling back from the impact

"look at you!" he snaps pushing me backwards "you act like you care about her and yet instead of trying to fix this mess here you are stooping right down to his level, i hate myself for what i did to nadia and it wasn't even half as bad as what you've done to her she deserves better than you"

i know he is right, of course he is but i don't need him to tell me what i already know.

"don't you think i already know this! i would do anything to change this but i can't johnny and i will not stand here and just let people talk about her like that especially not him" i shout back pointing at isaak who was back on his feet

"whatever man but i know if you don't fix this, quick, then you're going to lose her forever" my best friend states and then walks away pure disgust on his face.

{sorry this is once again so shitty but heres another asher pov}