Lost

Chapter 9

Izuku flipped a pencil between his fingers as he stared blankly at the hero analysis notebook's blank page. It was a new hobby that he had picked up because staring at white walls all day was considered too unhealthy by both Recovery Girl and Eraserhead. He did enjoy the hobby. However, he didn't appreciate the fact that Aizawa was the one who had suggested it to him. When the man, who he now thinks of as a secondary father figure, suggested it he was excited. Then he realized the man didn't care and that there must have been some other motive. After that, he realized the man thought him stupid enough to analyze his own quirks or the quirks of his vigilante or villain acquaintances. It offended him and betrayed his trust.

Izuku did not let the man know that he had done this. Instead, he pretended to be ignorant of Aizawa's true motives and analyzed only well-known heroes. He sighed. The greenette had started the notebook a week and a half ago, and it was almost full. He had been here for three weeks in total. The only person who visited him anymore was Aizawa and Nezu. Aizawa because Nezu thought Izuku trusted him, and Nezu visited because he was now his legal guardian. Izuku yelled at Nezu when he was told that because his father was the only one who had anything even close to that right and threw his notebook at the principal. Now, not even the dog-mouse visited since the incident four days ago.

The boy wrote some more analysis down. So technically Aizawa was the only one who entered anymore. Izuku was going to have the pro hero apologize to the principle for him. Maybe he would come around again, and he'd be less lonely. But then again, who would want to see someone as pathetic and disgusting as himself? He heard the door open and turned his head looking at Aizawa who walked in with muted exhaustion, carrying a tray of food.

"It's lunchtime," he said as he sat the tray in front of Izuku once he grabbed the boy's notebook. Izuku didn't touch his food; instead, he watched the pro hero walk over and sit on his bed beginning to search it for valuable information. So technically he was looking to see if there was any villain or vigilante analysis. Izuku frowned. The boy hoped that the man actually had no ulterior motive. Guess he was wrong about the closest to a good person who was here. "You know Izuku these are really good, even if this was the notebook of an adult they would be amazing. If only you had a broader scope."

There it was. Aizawa even was trying to manipulate him into spilling more information. Izuku felt betrayed slightly, but he felt more sad than any other emotion, "I knew your plan from the start," There was a confused dead inside look, Izuku then continued as he started to cry, "You wanted me to analyze the quirk of villains and other shady people that I know so you could use it against them! I will not! I had hoped y-you didn't have any ulterior motives but 'broaden you scope' just proves that I-I was right."

There was a silence, and Izuku took it as an admission of guilt. But then it was broken, "Listen, problem child—I actually suggested it because I thought you would like it. Not for any other motives, just because I wanted you to be happy."

"You want me to be happy?"

"Yes because I care about you—"

"Heroes don't care about villains!" Izuku said refusing to listen to what the man was saying. Izuku didn't understand why it hurt so much. Why did it hurt so fucking much? Tears streamed down his face, but he did not make any noise. Guilt weighted down his soul tormenting his heart and his mind. Izuku smiled in an odd acceptance of it and the pain he deserved to bear and said gentle, "I am an evil person. I'm a villain. Everything about me is rooted in evil, my family and my quirk. I'm not someone who needs to be saved, everyone needs to be saved from me."

"And exactly what makes you an evil person, a villain?" Aizawa the there was an unknown edge to his voice. He leaned forward red scrutinizing globes staring into Izuku's soul threw his verdant green eyes. Izuku looked away, he was a villain, and this man did not have to question that fact's validity, because it is valid, because it is.